What are Friends For?

[lizbud]

Seriously? I just finished reading the Cheating thread and I am truely wondering what some people think friends are for.

I thought good friends were supose to be our confidants, sounding boards, in some instances safety nets. Not just someone to shoot the breeze with or gossip with. Someone to run ideas off of, help in trying to find solutions, a shoulder to cry on in a storm. At least that is the type of friend I have always tried to be and there are a few friends I have that I know are that for me.

Prime example is Candace. She an I have known each other for a few years now. She has helped me through several of the hardest times in my life. She kindly listens without judgement, gives support where needed, helps me to laugh when it is what I need most and allows me to vent when I need that too. And she waits till I ask her for advise to give it. And she makes sure I know it is just that; advice. Whether I take it or leave it does not change her feelings towards me. We have disagreed on more then a few occasions but we have never even considered not being friends. If it was not for her advice and support during those hard times I am scared to think where I would be now.

I am not a believer in "what happens in the family stays in the family." Never will be. I was raised in a very abusive home and was in a very abusive marriage. I wish I had had a friend like Candace when I was a child. But I count my lucky stars that she came into my life when she did.

Seriously what kind of friend are you if your friends can not turn to you for advice or support. Any proffessional therapist with tell you that people need close friends and emotional support. People to be sounding boards. The proffessionals are not always there when they are needed the most but friends most often are. I am in no way saying not to go to a therapist for problems. They are there to help but I am saying so are friends.

Just my thoughts. Hope I make sense.

You make perfect sense. Sweet post too.
p.s. I have to tell you, I love the saying in your sig. It makes me smile
every time I see it.

[NicoleLJ]

Glad to see that people can agree on what friends are for. I do have to admit that not all friends fall into the same catagory. Some friends are close friends. The type I described above. Then there are ones that are more like work buddies or hang out buddies. I have some of those as well and would never lean on them like I do with my close friends. Then their are ones that are more like aquantances. We say hi, have lunch once and a while and are friendly. It is knowing which is which that is important for these types of occassions.

[Marigold2]

Oh I do have to warn you, if you want to be my friend I have a wicked sense of humor I am the women laughing out loud at the card shop trying to show you the funny card she just found. I find humor in almost every situation, because otherwise there would be a lot more crying going on.
Today I went to the art show with my daughter and met up with some friends later. This one artist had drawings of animals but they were drawn as cartoons. They were so FUNNY, I was laughing so hard tears were rolling down my face, the one that really sticks in my mind is two frogs sitting next to each other and one says to the other
I hate my thighs.
Another one had a line of birds on a rope and at the end of the rope was a thong. It was called the The Thongbirds.
They were all so funny but a bit pricey.

[Karen]

I would expect a friend to keep my secrets and confidences secret. I would do so for a friend and always have.

[neko1]

I don't have any, so I just deal w/things on my own....if I'm upset, my sounding board is myself....

People who say 'I don't know what I'd do without my friends' should come talk to me- I'll let them know!

[Asiel]

I don't have any, so I just deal w/things on my own....if I'm upset, my sounding board is myself....

People who say 'I don't know what I'd do without my friends' should come talk to me- I'll let them know!

The voice of maturity for once. I thought it had gone out of style to work out your problems on your own and not become a drama queen.

Knowing that not one single person in this world is problem free I prefer not to burden my friends with my problems. Using the time we have together is precious and disclosing personal information that might make them uneasy is not my style.

[Whisk_Luva]

The voice of maturity for once. I thought it had gone out of style to work out your problems on your own and not become a drama queen.

Knowing that not one single person in this world is problem free I prefer not to burden my friends with my problems. Using the time we have together is precious and disclosing personal information that might make them uneasy is not my style.

I don't think it is 'the voice of maturity'. Just because some people can work through their problems on their own certainly does not mean others can.

I used to not tell my school friends anything but now some of them do know a lot more. And this happened the opposite way round as well. Telling them things, and them telling me things just shows the trust within the friendship and has bought us closer IMO. I do like being able to help them out when and if they need it. Friends are there for support as well as having a good time with.

[Marigold2]

Have you watched Sex in the City? Friends are what makes life sweet. We cannot choose our parents, in-laws or children and their friends but we sure as hell can pick our friends.
Mine have been there for me through the death of my mother, my first marriaga breaking up, painful times with my children.
I have been there for them in life, death, jail, abortion, suicide,
cheating husband, beating husbands. They have sobbed in my arms and I in their's.
I have also been there for the marriage, the birth, the first homes, the first grandchild, more laughs than anyone can count and more love, support, understanding and more fun then I ever thought I would have. We have laughed so hard that milk came out of the nose, we have peeded our pants, had extreme coughing fits and fallen over laughing. THAT'S FREINDSHIP.

The voice of maturity for once. I thought it had gone out of style to work out your problems on your own and not become a drama queen.

Knowing that not one single person in this world is problem free I prefer not to burden my friends with my problems. Using the time we have together is precious and disclosing personal information that might make them uneasy is not my style.