A request to parents

[catnapper]

I sooo understand your frustration. We had to put up a fence to avoid people walking through our yard. That's what sidewalks are for!

We have neighbor's dogs who potty on our yard. Nursing home employees smoking on our sidewalk. The WEIRD nieghbor kid who stands on our lawn and talks to tools (YES, TOOLS.... hammers, screw drivers, etc.... creepy little kid). McDonald's cups and wrappers all over our lawn.

I tell you my neighborly woes, not to outdo yours, but to show you how much I understand. I want to throw poop on the doggy's home. I want to throw up on the people who smoke and make me, well, throw up. I want to call the nuthouse to take care of that weird child (I bet you we'll be seeing him on the news in about 15 years for some creepy stalking issue). I want to scream at Micky D's to provide a trash can on my property

But we were raised to be polite and deal with it. Because if we actually said something to our neighbors, we'd be the ones with an attitude problem.

[chocolatepuppy]

I work in a noisy factory all day long. Some days, when I get home and take my dogs out, the neighbor ties his dog out and and it barks non stop!!! Not the way I want to spend my home time. Some days it bothers me more than others. I can see where you're coming from Monica.

[snakemama]

How frustrating. You are nicer than I am....but I genuinely dislike kids!

I've found a sound machine to be a very worthwhile investment since my new next-door neighbor's kids like to play soccer and my bedroom window is in exactly the wrong place. -_- A little white noise in the evenings is quite soothing, and drowns out a lot of the screeching.

[Sirrahsim]

wow. Heaven forbid happy children run outside and play and holler when mandated quiet hours are not in effect. Perhaps we parents of youngsters should shut them up in the house and give them each a video game to keep them quiet and docile (and fat). There is a reason that volume levels are referred to as "indoor" voice and "outdoor" voices. Griping about children playing outside is completely ridiculous and as a mother I am ridiculously offended that you would be offended.
Put up a fence and earplugs if you don't want to hear children play.
*rant over*

[Lilith Cherry]

The sound of happy children playing noisy outdoor games should not be offensive to anyoneSorry you had a bad day Marigold but please try to see the other point of view ( as in Sirrahsim's post) as well as your own. Relax and let the sounds be a part of life or go for walk somewhere quiet instead maybe?

[kittycats_delight]

I know the frustration of too much noise. We live in a country area. Behind out house are corn fields. Our street has at most 20 house but in those 20 houses there are about 40 kids. The really unfortunate thing is that for the most part kids here are completely unruly. They have no discipline at all. The parents only speak up (outside the home) when the kids are bothering them. IE: when they are talking to another parent or friend and the kid keeps bugging. And then if the second parent is there you always hear from the one not being terrorized. 'Leave him/her alone.' Otherwise it is a free for all. It is really something to be seen. The fact that one parent is continually telling the other to leave the kid alone and let them do what they want gives the kid free reign to play one against the other and then you have anarchy. Thankfully our street is fairly tame in comparison to many.

There is one thing that drives me completely insane and that is the barking dogs. My dog barks at strangers and she hates when other dogs are too close to her territory but she responds when told to stop or called. But I have mentioned this before the people that live upstairs (we live in a duplex) have 2 collies and they are incessant barkers. But with all honesty I don't blame the dogs. I blame the owners. There are several 'barkaholics' in the neighborhood. And for the most part they are little dogs who are allowed to run loose. They make their rounds to the gate of the dogs who are closed in their own gardens and start a barking war. This I despise. I have witnessed the owners of these dogs stop and watch the dogs and wait for someone to say something. I had a massive migraine a few days ago. The owners of 2 of these dogs were out talking to the neighbor and these little rats (chihuahua) came to my gate and started the war games with Artica and the 2 dogs upstairs. I called Artica and put her in down/stay. The 2 little ones kept it up anyway...I went to the gate and sent them away or tried to at least. The stronzo owner (husband) actually started yelling at me for yelling at his unrestrained dogs that were causing all the problems. How can you fight these things. The owners are people of influence (government) and make life difficult for anyone who gives them grief.

Anyway...I kinda went off there...the issue is not the kids or the dogs etc. The issue is the parents for the most part especially if they are small kids. Kids get over excited and use voices that are more than outdoor but lost in the jungle voices. LOL If the kids are let do what they want and not checked then that is how it will be.

Another quick example. We were out to dinner the other night. A family with 3 kids came in. 2 girls about 6 & 9 and a little boy about 2. The oldest girl was quiet as a mouse as was the little boy. You would never even know they were there. The middle girl was like an auctioneer. She never shut up for 1 second and she was super loud. The parents never once spoke to her to be quiet. The restaurant was large (could hold about 500 people) and the wait staff kept getting complaints from out diners. They (different waiters/waitresses) went several times to ask the parent to please have the little girl quiet down some as she was disturbing other guests. (We could hear the entire conversation as we were just 2 tables away) The parents would said 'certamente' (certainly) and then say nothing. Finally the owner went to the table to ask them to keep her a little more quiet or maybe take a table outside where she could make all the noise she wanted and the father went off on him. It was unreal. Some people have no respect for others and it is their way or no way. Sad...very sad really that 1 family should be allowed to ruin the meals and time of so many.

[Medusa]

That's a toughie b/c kids are overflowing w/energy, especially now that school is out. My neighbor has two little girls and I call them Air Raid Siren One and Two. (to myself, that is) I swear, all they do is scream but it's as though they can't help themselves. They just HAVE to let it out. LOL Frankly, when I hear and watch them, I'm a little envious. What I wouldn't give to have that kind of energy and enthusiasm again. My neighbor to my right has two barking dogs that bark at air all day long. I've managed to tune it out. They're good neighbors, both of them, and they work long hours, too, and the last thing I want to do is complain to them when they come home dog tired. However, if kids or dogs trample through my flowers and are destructive, then that's another issue and I will definitely speak up but the kids stay on their property and the dogs are fenced in. Such is life in a neighborhood. In an odd way it reminds me of my own childhood. I think you just had a case of jangled nerves that day, Monica. Given all the things you experienced in one day, it's no wonder. Perhaps try ear plugs. I wear them on occasion and they block out the irritating sounds but I can still hear the birds chirping. Good luck.

[pomtzu]

wow. Heaven forbid happy children run outside and play and holler when mandated quiet hours are not in effect. Perhaps we parents of youngsters should shut them up in the house and give them each a video game to keep them quiet and docile (and fat). There is a reason that volume levels are referred to as "indoor" voice and "outdoor" voices. Griping about children playing outside is completely ridiculous and as a mother I am ridiculously offended that you would be offended.
Put up a fence and earplugs if you don't want to hear children play.
*rant over*

I couldn't agree more.........

I imagine the parents of the kids who live in "developments" (in the form of a high rise) in the dirty and dangerous cities, would give anything to live in a "development" of nice houses and well manicured lawns, and the sound of noisy and screeching kids. No - the kids they hear screaming and screeching all too often, are the ones who are victims of violence, or a drive by shooting, and many other things too horrific to even mention. You made your decision to live in a cushy environment of nice homes and yuppies with young children, then you need to accept the life style that comes with it. If you can't be part of it, or don't wish to be, then yes, you do need to move to somewhere, where your neighbors are empty fields and the wildlife that wanders thru the area.

[sirrahbed]

Oh gosh, sounds like a horrible day!! I have them sometimes and find that sounds are magnified and I feel like screaming and going insane!! I keep a bag of foam earplugs in my nightstand for such days and they DO help! Another investment I am loving is a hepa filter air machine. It has three levels and *high* is VERY helpful to fill the room with soothing white sound and drowning out the outside noises I don't always enjoy. Asking that playing children quiet down in the early summer evening is unreasonable in my opinion (though very tempting!)

[moosmom]

I'm sorry, but aren't there any noise ordinances in your area? I lived above a guy who was a drunk, who played the same old vinyl album of "Together Forever" by Perry Como. His living room was directly under my bedroom. After a while, I called the cops. They heard it from 3 blocks away.

I moved out shortly after that. The apartment was perfect for one person and cats (it had an enclosed porch). But the a-hole downstairs ruined it for me.

Apartment living is difficult. Sometimes ya just gotta ignore it.

[Killearn Kitties]

Perhaps it's your neighbours' revenge for swapping their campaign signs.

[snakemama]

Wow, heaven forbid anyone feel differently than you do about kids. I don't like them. I don't have to like them. I don't do anything in my home that affects their lives, so I don't see the problem.

I actually *COULD* call the main office here and get them to stop the kids playing soccer outside my window (It's in the lease, since the windows are so low here there aren't supposed to be any games with balls within twenty feet of the buildings) but I chose to get a sound machine instead.

When I moved in here, I was emphatic to the management that I was looking for a *quiet* place, and she assured em over and over that it was "tranquil" here. Well, it's not. I feel that I was lied to, and I'm leaving this place ASAP partly because of that.

[Catlady711]

I am unfortunate enough to be surrounded by 4 houses of screaming, tresspassing kids like those, (that moved in after I was already here). I can TOTALLY empathize with your day and wanting peace when you got home. My neighbors are so bad that when the kids finally get too loud even to them, they scream obsenities out their windows back at the children to shut up. Then we wonder where they learned to scream in the first place.

I solved the tresspassing (which included digging holes in my back yard, ripping a shrub of mine in half with their bare hands, shooting my songbirds, and shooting the veggies in my garden with BB guns) by calling the cops repeatedly for tresspassing and destruction of propery, and often including video or pictures of them doing it (since the parents would often say 'my kid couldnt have done that). While the parents think I'm 'mean' and 'picking on their children' for not letting their kids use my yard like their own personal playground, I no longer have much problem with the tresspassing.

That said I felt the need to comment on a couple things in particular.

What ya gonna do? Kids will scream in pools and that is life, they have short memories, five minutes later it continues to eye splitting levels. Show me a kid that doens't scream in a pool and I will be shocked.

I was raised not to scream unless I was hurt or someone was trying to take me. My mom always emphasized that if I were to scream all the time she'd never know when I was actually in trouble. I also spent alot of time at my grandparents trailer at the lake. I was explicity told that there was to be NO screaming near the water unless I was drowning or in trouble otherwise people would never know the difference. Not that I never talked loud or was in a fit of laughter with my friends, but I was raise that you NEVER scream unless you are hurt, or in trouble. Failure to follow that rule resulted in one warning only, if it was repeated then I had to go in for the remainder of the day and be quiet.

Perhaps we parents of youngsters should shut them up in the house and give them each a video game to keep them quiet and docile (and fat). Put up a fence and earplugs if you don't want to hear children play.
*rant over*

go for walk somewhere quiet instead maybe?

Rather than shut the kids up with a video game, why not take the time to actually play and interact with them and teach them the difference between 'outdoor voices' and screaming? Why should one be forced to wear earplugs in one's own house because parents haven't taught their children the difference between 'outdoor voices' and 'screaming'? Why should a person be forced the expense of putting up a fence because parents haven't taught their children that tresspassing is not only rude but ILLEGAL? Why should a person have to go somewhere other than their own home to have quiet time? Why can't the kids go to a local playground if they want to be loud, that's what those are for?

I'm always amazed when I go by a park how FEW children are actually there, and even fewer parents with them.

Hummm, interesting thread. I have a 3.5 year old, and I have taught her to be loud outside only. When we are inside and around other people, in stores, in a restaurant, at the mall, etc. she is not allowed to scream, screech, or be excessively loud. And she knows that when she has freedom outside she can be as loud as she likes. That is what the great outdoors is for.

I would hope that you either don't have any close neighbors, or that your child's version of being loud outside doesn't include screaming. Otherwise in giving your child her 'freedom', you are taking away the freedom of your close neighbors to have quiet in their own home. And if your child typically screams outdoors, how is anyone to know when she is actually hurt or in trouble?

The sounds of happy children playing and the sound of kids screaming are two different things.

AMEN!!

[carole]

I think when this generation gets older they will feel much the same, it just goes with age, your tolerance levels are not as high as when young,i think it is just considerate to teach your children to not be too loud, my kids always enjoyed playing, laughing, but i would not let them go over board, as i would consider others, i have a real elderly neighbour, so i thought about her when the kids were little, why can everyone not do that? it is not that hard, and it does not mean kids cannot be kids.

There is a time and place for everything .

[Cookiebaker]

I would hope that you either don't have any close neighbors, or that your child's version of being loud outside doesn't include screaming. Otherwise in giving your child her 'freedom', you are taking away the freedom of your close neighbors to have quiet in their own home. And if your child typically screams outdoors, how is anyone to know when she is actually hurt or in trouble?

I refuse to feel guilty about allowing my daughter to be loud in the great outdoors. I don't believe in the mentality that children should be seen and not heard. I believe in training children to be loud when and where its appropriate, and likewise to be quiet where its appropriate. Children are not much different than some pets in they have lots of energy that needs to get burned off or they go stir-crazy. The great outdoors is exactly where that energy should be burned off!!!! Fresh air, under the great blue sky, in the green grass. If you take that away from children, then what is left???? And for the record, my daughter does not go outside before 9 am, and is inside after 7 pm.

There is a BIG difference between happy-shouting and hurt-screaming....a BIG one. There is no mistaking one from another.

Face it, its part of living in society that we get along with other people, and they get along with us. We have a neighbor who goes to work at 4 am, when they tie their big German Shepherd out....said dog barks from 4 am until sunup every single day.

We have neighbors on our left who 3-4 times a summer throw loud parties, all night long on the river. This includes loud(!) music and fireworks at 11 pm, 2 am, 3 am etc. These neighbors also are in the habit of 1-2 times per month filling our house up with smoke when they decide to burn some super stinky trash.

Do we complain? No. We grin and bear it because we know that we also likely have just as annoying habits to them as they do to us.

One reason that I love Jesus so much.....He wasn't ever annoyed with children, He welcomed them with open arms and said, "Let the little children come to me", even though they were dirty, loud, and in the way.