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Thread: Our PT joke thread

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    8,585

    Jenny Craig For Men

    A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

    The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

    She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

    The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.'

    Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up..


    The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

    On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

    He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

    The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me you can have me'.

    Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

    Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program

    'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone.. 'This is our most rigorous program.'

    'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'

    The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.'

    He lost 63 pounds that week.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    8,166
    I love you in 5 languages!




    English - I Love You

    French - Je T'aime

    Italian - Ti Amo

    Chinese - Wo Ai Nin

    Australian - Nice Butt, Get in the truck


    "I'm Back !!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    28,394
    Patient: "Doctor, I've broken my arm in two places!"
    Doctor: "Well then, stay out of those places."

    Doctor: "Nurse, what is the progress of the child who swallowed a dozen coins?"
    Nurse: "No change yet."

    A patient in the hospital noticed her doctor walking around the unit yelling, "Influenza! Pneumonia! Shingles! Pertussis! Tetanus! Diphtheria!" She asked the nurse the reason behind the doctor's words. The nurse explained, "Oh, the doctor likes to call the shots around here."
    Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

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