[Dear You. . .]

[Suki Wingy]

Dear Bri,
I know how you feel. I failed both Algebra and Advanced Algebra the first time around. Had to take them both in summer school.

[Whisk_Luva]

Dear you...

You aren't helping if that's what you are trying to do...

Do you not understand me at all?

Ellie (yes.. Ellie. Please stop calling me by my full name!)

[*LabLoverKEB*]

Dear B,

I hope you are not at this again. I saw the effects of it last time, and I pray that you have the sense to not make the same poor decisions. You are such an amazing, smart, beautiful, sweet person, and it kills me to see you make such bad choices.

Love,
me

[chocolatepuppy]

Dear You...

first time, shame on you...

second time, shame on me...

[Catty1]

These days I am calm, moods are even; I am enjoying a new lease on health and growth. I tell you this in case any assurance is needed that I am not angry with anyone, or upset.

It's just that recently, and now, I have no idea what I am doing in the church. I have no idea why I am there.

I cannot see where to grow, or how; no direction is clear to me. As long as I have tried, I cannot take as literal truth the basis of Christianity as outlined in the Nicene Creed. I have stood with everyone else when we say it, but I have not said it for weeks.

I used to be able to make some sort of peace with everything - but finally reached a crisis, in the Greek sense. Things I always heard without listening now grate on me. The Eucharist no longer makes sense. When it was my turn to read the readings for the day, I used to feel warm, eager to communicate what the original writer might have meant, to make the words real.

The last time I read, I felt dry. I just spoke the words.

The music...having worked occasionally as a music director in the past, I know that ensemble voices must blend, and that my voice does not work with the other singers in that capacity. I settled for being a team member, with J and A bringing in their keyboard so I could provide extra instrumentation.

I miss singing tremendously. I note I said "I settled". Settling for and true acceptance are not the same thing to me.

What grates me here is how often the word "I" is used. Egocentric. I know I am loved there by many, and I am breaking into tears as I write this.

But I don't have any reason or purpose there any more. I feel detached, distant, unaffected.

G, the only reason I write to you about this is because I have known you a long while. I know I don't need "permission" or anything like that.

I have been through a lot of change, all good, and I am taking an indefinite break from A.S.C. I have to.

If by some chance you are baffled by this, I can only assure you that I am the same. So many things in my life from the past 10 years just do not fit any more.

Thank you, G. Thank you for everything.