Learn From My Fail - LFMF

[Catty1]

If you haven’t used your coffee thermos in a while, always check to make sure mold hasn’t grown inside it, before you take a big swallow from it at your desk. #LFMF
Submitted by: Still rinsing my mouth with bleach via Submit Page


When walking in public and you think a spider MAY be in your shirt make sure it’s not just your shirt’s tag before screaming and throwing off said shirt. #LFMF
Submitted by: NakedTime via Submit Page

[Catty1]

If you own cats DO NOT buy cutesy ink pens with marabou feathers on them. Cats can not tell difference between a writing implement and a fun now toy, nor do they care if they shred your hand while you’re signing a rent check with their new toy. #LFMF
Submitted by: NewlyLefty via Submit Page

[lvpets2002]

Those readings were pretty funny.. LOL

[Catty1]

Always check your shoes before putting them on. Sometimes your cat has been lavishly sick in one of them. #LFMF
Submitted by: divamentalis via Submit Page

Spell check does NOT catch the missing ‘r’ when you email your wife that "I spent the day under the car with a greasy wench." #LFMF
Submitted by: T.Rob via Submit Page

When you have a curious 6 year old girl in the house, do NOT leave your razor out in the open, otherwise you will find her three hours later with both eyebrows shaved off and school pictures the next day. #LFMF

Submitted by: Eyebrows grow back… right? via Submit Page

NEVER assume your kittens’ paws are wet because they scratch in the water bowl. ALWAYS assume your kittens’ paws are wet because they walked through urine. #LFMF Submitted by: litterboxtrainer via Submit Page

[Catty1]

Just because an unexplained pain "feels a little better" does not mean you can leave the Emergency Room. If it was bad enough to bring you there, it’s bad enough to be your appendix exploding. #LFMF
Submitted by: Almost Died via Submit Page

Fetus shaped cookies are not an appropriate treat to bring to a baby shower. No matter how twisted you and the mom-to-be are, it doesn’t mean her family is. #LFMF
Submitted by: Baby Nommer via Submit Page

When flipping the bird and shrieking at a driver 2 blocks from your workplace, make sure you know EXACTLY what kind of car the new VP drives. #LFMF
Submitted by: Does Not Meet via Submit Page

When referring to your boss as the "Spawn of Satan" in an email to a friend, make sure to delete it from the history and close your email program before going to lunch. Sometimes the Spawn likes to sit at your desk while planning the taking of your soul. #LFMF
Submitted by: Iamsodoomed via Submit Page

[Catty1]

It doesn’t take much to break the plastic closure on the back of a bikini top, especially at the waterslides. #LFMF
Submitted by: notdoingthatagain via Submit Page

When upgrading your phone and selling you previous iPhone to your mum, remember to delete all your ‘adult’ bookmarks from the browser. #LFMF
Submitted by: SheffordLad via Submit Page

A Dremel is not an acceptable means of tattoo removal. #LFMF
Submitted by: tattooed and scarred via Submit Page

[Catty1]

more

Never assume the small rodent shivering on your store’s windowsill is a hamster, no matter how much it looks like one, or the fact that PetSmart is right next door. Bats are VERY good at completely hiding their wings beneath them, and don’t care so much for being scooped into boxes. #LFMF
Submitted by: I Touched a Bat via Submit Page

When packing a backpack for a short trip, be careful how you store your electric toothbrush. It could go off while you and everyone else on the bus is sleeping. While you’re trying to fish it out and turn it off, no one will believe that sound is coming from a toothbrush. This is especially embarassing in a foreign country. #LFMF
Submitted by: Buzz via Submit Page