pomtzu - I know what you mean. When I look back over the years, there were hints...when the one grandaughter I knew well grew up and got married, Pappy and Jennie told me her husband wouldn't let her visit them. They figured he was a Christian man, so the GD did as told.

The last visit I had with them, Pappy sat down and told me about his time in the war - doing guard post in the Asian theatre, waiting for the slightest sound, you'd have to shoot in the dark or get shot...he admitted to hitting Jennie at least once after he got back, he was in such bad shape.

"Pappy, she doesn't need to hear this," Jennie said.

"Yes, Jennie," I said, "I do." I thought it was more I needed to hear from our veterans what war and their lives were like. I recently thought that there was more Pappy would have told me, but dementia was just starting to take hold.

I have known the daughter and her husband too; Pappy and Jennie lived in the other half of their house, that was renovated for them. These are not people to make things up.

I talked to the daughter on the phone - she was with her parents 24/7 at the end; so was her husband, supporting her, getting food for her. She thought she had told me.

After their deaths, she emailed me the link to their obit, and asked if I would post in their guest book. She had had a total change of heart, flooded with forgiveness. Her parents had ministered to many, many other people through the years, including some individuals in jail. (Pappy was a raunchy teen and young man, and knew a bit of jail.).

There were two postings there, and then there was mine. They had lived in a small town...and I guess no one cared to post, not even people from their church.

God's figured it all out by now.