Mom still doesn't get it...and I keep winding up in tears...

[Catty1]

Part 1: Financial Situation - Self-employed. Not (yet) making enough to cover all my bills and pay anything on my large line of credit.

Line of credit was taken out when I needed to consolidate my start-up expenses last year; one condition is that they paid out my mortgage as well. I have small investments that pay something on it every 3 months...but at this rate I won't pay it off in my lifetime.

My idea - sell my present place which will wipe out the LOC, and leave me something over.

Part 2: related to the above - achieving a predictable and liveable income. This is why I am doing the sleep test etc and consulting with my doc and a life/career coach (a professional and friend who is working pro bono!) so I can GET to the point where I need less than 11 hours sleep and am not so dragged out.


Mom, for all her undergrad and Masters' degree, cannot see the link between my lack of sleep and not being able to pay attention on the job (as well as the memory gaps). She thinks I should stay where I am for 2 - 3 years, use part of my investments to make a hole in the LOC, and wait til my income is more to where I can afford another place. (Mobile home is affordable, and I will have my OWN laundry!)

Thank God I have a couple of friends who support me, but it is hard, as Mom is the only family I have left.

She wants to come over and help me 'organize' the place. I keep saying I am not ready - and I'm not. Not ready for any negativity. I want to wait until I start the CPAP machine on the 9th and hopefully gain some energy to deal with her and everything else.

I am venting, sort of...if anyone here can look at my financial plan and give me feedback, please PM me as I don't want to lay out details here.

Thanks.

[happylabs]

I am not real good with planning and figures but I can give you some moral support. I can totally relate to lack of sleep causing memory issues. Our brains and bodies are just like rechargeable batteries. If they do not get recharged, they do not work properly. It is tough when you have a parent or loved one that is into the negativity thing. My father was always like that. However, the more he told me I couldn't do something, the more I wanted to prove him wrong!

Hang in there. Hope things get better soon for you.

[Kirsten]

I'm with you on this one, Candace!

I'm afraid I cannot offer any helpful advice, but I know how hard life can be with a constant lack of energy. I'm in the same situation, unemployed even, and I don't see any perspective how I can ever do another job without being burned out again in no time!

We just have to hope that things will get better for us one day!

Kirsten

[Catty1]

Thanks, you two...

Kirsten, I don't know if you read my other posts. I had a sleep test and found out I have sleep apnea, which really saps energy. I stop breathing or brealy stop 15 times an hour!

Have you had a sleep study done? It just takes overnight. Might be worth checking out.

Also - any thoughts of using prints of your photos to raise funds for animal shelters and the like? They would love that!

[Queen of Poop]

Behind you 100% dear!! I'm here anytime you need to vent, a shoulder, anything. I'm not sure I'd be much help with your financial info right now, got enough of those troubles of my own right now.

[Catty1]

Thanks, Gayle...with my depression and ADD symptoms, which might also be aggravated by my sleep apnea, I am afraid to even TRY for a 'real job' as I have gone through about 11 of them since moving to Alberta some 10 years ago.

I hope I get this figured out.

[Kirsten]

Have you had a sleep study done? It just takes overnight. Might be worth checking out.

No, I haven't done it yet, and I think I would really have a problem with that because I could never sleep with other people watching me!

What did they suggest for you to do now once they've found out it's sleep apnoe?

Also - any thoughts of using prints of your photos to raise funds for animal shelters and the like? They would love that!

Yes, that may be worth a try. Once I'm feeling a bit better (I'm also dealing with depression for a couple of months now, and with constant nausea), I can try that...

[Catty1]

Kristen, I did a sleep study at home! You get instructions on how to hook yourself up...All I had was an oxygen sensor taped to my index finger, a wee microphone (small disc) on my throat just above the hollow of it, and the cannula in my nose....that is the thin tube with the wee prongs that you wear when you are getting oxygen in the hospital...except this one just measures your breathing.

Oh - and medical tape...the mic and thin tube on the face need a little help!

[Kirsten]

Kristen, I did a sleep study at home! You get instructions on how to hook yourself up...All I had was an oxygen sensor taped to my index finger, a wee microphone (small disc) on my throat just above the hollow of it, and the cannula in my nose....that is the thin tube with the wee prongs that you wear when you are getting oxygen in the hospital...except this one just measures your breathing.

Oh - and medical tape...the mic and thin tube on the face need a little help!

Interesting, that sounds much better, but as far as I know, they only do it in a hospital here, in a so-called sleep-lab, where they monitor everything.

[Catty1]

Well, Kirsten - all you can do is ask! One is allowed to use a sleep aid for the hospital test. But hopefully there is the other option.

[Queen of Poop]

The Cochrane Humane Society has an opening, if you weren't aware, it is:

We are hiring a part time Adoption Specialist.
The position is 10 hours per week, Friday 2:00 - 7:00pm & Saturday noon - 5:00pm, with the possibility of additional hours

Maybe something you'd be interested in.

[phesina]

Dear Candace, that must be nightmarish (if that's the right word under these circumstances), not being able to get sufficient sleep. That's a reason to be depressed and have attention deficits and no energy right there.

I have no financial expertise either.. but it sounds like you have ideas and plans and some expert advisers to help you make them work.

As for Mom, all I can think is: I am guessing she is from an earlier generation, before conditions such as depression and sleep apnea and ADD were well known and studied and treated. In my parents' day, the solution was to put on the Stiff Upper Lip and Get Busy .. Perhaps your mother's too?

If so, see if you can regard her in that light when she gets on you that way... Remember, she isn't saying these things to hurt you or punish you; she really thinks that's the way to solve the problem.

That's a hard one, no matter what, contending with all that. I am wishing for you the strength and peace of mind to deal with all this. And I lit a candle: http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/...g&cid=10105433

You are welcome to vent here any time you feel the need! You know you have loads of friends here who want nothing but the best for you.

Big loving good wishes to you and ~~~~~PURRS~~~~~ and {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
from the cats and me.

[davidpizzica]

Candace, I may not be able to help you with your money problems, but I can give you moral support with the CPAP machine and the sleep apnea!

[Catty1]

Gayle, thanks - I didn't see that. Will go have a look. I did get a first interview for Admin Asst there last year, but not the second.

Will check it out.

Thanks, David...I am just getting the nasal mask, we'll see how it goes. I am determined to make it work, the results are worth it!

Pat - thank you for the candle. It is somewhat my mom's generation...but we are both elder daughters and that carries the attitude "Be reasonable - do it my way!"

ETA: Gayle, I looked at the job description and I am terrified. It is complicated, and one I would not consider until I am healthier. I can see me melting down...animal behaviour reports, dealing with surrenders and adoptions and people, emotional things. I am just not ready.

But THANK YOU for letting me know.

[Laura's Babies]

We have a very large guy on the boat who is next to impossible to wake up. In talking one day he says he has a sleep study done and had to have one of those C-PAC things and it made all the difference in the world in how he felt, able to get out of bed on time, full of energy, just changed his life and 100% improved it.. When I asked why he isn't using it, he said it broke and he can't afford to replace it..

This is a guy who takes his family to Disney world, plans week end getaways for him and his wife, buys big screen TV's, X-boxes, tons of games for them and all sorts of expensive "toys"... But he can't afford a machine that could someday save his LIFE?

It CAN and WILL make a difference in how you feel and your whole life could turn around as a result of that sleep study.

As for living in a mobile home.. I LOVE it! I know they all pretty much look the same outside but inside, they are so different and it is unbelievable how much they have improved since I lived in my first one. I could have afforded a bigger and better one than I have but my object was to get mine paid off asap. I had it financed for 7 years and paid it off in 5! Unless you have your own property, factor in lot rent. Once I move mine to where we will be permanently, I am adding a nice sized front porch and a room on the back for the washer/dryer and the girls litter boxes. I also hope to be able to put a roof over top of it..(I want a tin roof!)

I was talking to Rie Rie today about getting the water and sewage done NOW so when I get ready to move, all that I will have to do is move.

Keep to your plan. Everyone needs a plan. My life has been so much easier because I planned mine since I was 15 years old. Now I am planning for my retirement and that is when I will move onto private property and not have rent to pay, car notes or house payments, thanks to planning and sticking to the plan.