Help me with a comeback...

[Queen of Poop]

Maybe he needs a cat of his own to find out for sure!

[Freedom]

A priest at one church I attended followed the religious teaching, and insisted to all of us pet owners in the pews that our pets were animals acting on instinct, nothing more.

So we pet owners stopped attending Mass when he was scheduled, as it was just instinct not to attend to someone we didn't like.

The other priest, as well as the pastor, would always clarify, "the official church teaching is . . . "

So of the 3, guess which one had never owned a pet in his life? Yup, the first one.

But you say your guy HAS owned pets. Um . . . I don't get it! It should be obvious at that point!

[Don Juan's mom]

In a similar vein, a friend overheard me telling Don Juan (who was checking the linen cupboard for terrorists) that "if you find Osama Bin Laden in there, you have my permission to bite him." He maintains that if Osama Bin Rotten gave Don Juan a cat treat, my beautiful baby boy would lose any allegiance he has to the USA. Oh, well.