Thank you Alysser, and everyone for even taking a moment of your holiday to be thinking and posting for Gayle and myself.

I had a total meltdown this morning. I was playing a game with Bella and I grabbed her and held her.
And then I had a 'heart pain' so great, like I've never felt before in my life.
Not even when he caused all this a couple months ago, have I felt like this.
(don't listen Richard) Then came the floodgates. It was uncontrollable.

I had to get strong to make it through this day though. Can't cry and play the horn.
I played flute/sax at 2 nursing homes. The first was truly a sad place. Most of the people had no cognition left. But while I played, the director noted that he saw more 'activity' and 'interaction' from some of the people than he'd ever seen before, even if it were just more groaning than usual.
He thinks I struck a 'chord' with all the residents. Some were able to sing a long a little bit. I walked around and greeted each and every one, even if it was just a touch on the arm or eye contact and a smile.

The second place was more of an assisted living facility. The people came out from dinner with their walkers and sat in the lobby to hear the music. Yes, some were dozing off but others were attentive.
After I played several made their way toward me with the walkers to thank me.

I think I might have touched some folks today.

I made my way home and gave the kittehs a couple presents. Very hard, being alone. I was used to having a house load of people on this night. It was no 'kitteh Christmas' of years past, but I didn't want them to miss out, just like you'd feel with real children. These kittehs actually 'know' what is happening with this day.

Now, I will ring the bell, in honor of my father who passed in 2001. It's the anniversary of his birth tonight, and I will have a glass of wine.

Tomorrow, 3 nursing homes to keep me busy.

Let's hope 2010 is a better year for Gayle and myself and for anyone facing challenges here on PT.
Thank you all for your support.

Rose