Where I'm at now...something positive

[Queen of Poop]

Thanks Mikey and Alyssa. Thanks for all the pictures and well wishes. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas.

Had a bad day yesterday. Doing better today, getting ready to head to my parents. The weather will be good for the next several days so we're going to go for an hour and a half drive north and west of Calgary to Sundre.

[rosethecopycat]

Thank you Alysser, and everyone for even taking a moment of your holiday to be thinking and posting for Gayle and myself.

I had a total meltdown this morning. I was playing a game with Bella and I grabbed her and held her.
And then I had a 'heart pain' so great, like I've never felt before in my life.
Not even when he caused all this a couple months ago, have I felt like this.
(don't listen Richard) Then came the floodgates. It was uncontrollable.

I had to get strong to make it through this day though. Can't cry and play the horn.
I played flute/sax at 2 nursing homes. The first was truly a sad place. Most of the people had no cognition left. But while I played, the director noted that he saw more 'activity' and 'interaction' from some of the people than he'd ever seen before, even if it were just more groaning than usual.
He thinks I struck a 'chord' with all the residents. Some were able to sing a long a little bit. I walked around and greeted each and every one, even if it was just a touch on the arm or eye contact and a smile.

The second place was more of an assisted living facility. The people came out from dinner with their walkers and sat in the lobby to hear the music. Yes, some were dozing off but others were attentive.
After I played several made their way toward me with the walkers to thank me.

I think I might have touched some folks today.

I made my way home and gave the kittehs a couple presents. Very hard, being alone. I was used to having a house load of people on this night. It was no 'kitteh Christmas' of years past, but I didn't want them to miss out, just like you'd feel with real children. These kittehs actually 'know' what is happening with this day.

Now, I will ring the bell, in honor of my father who passed in 2001. It's the anniversary of his birth tonight, and I will have a glass of wine.

Tomorrow, 3 nursing homes to keep me busy.

Let's hope 2010 is a better year for Gayle and myself and for anyone facing challenges here on PT.
Thank you all for your support.

Rose

[Daisy and Delilah]

Gayle and Rose, I just wanted to come here and wish both of you a Merry Christmas. I know it's difficult to face the holidays. I am wishing for 2010 to be a brand new wonderful year for both of you.
{{{{{GAYLE AND ROSE}}}}}

[Catty1]

Gayle - wishing you a safe drive north! If the weather takes a turn on your way back - or even if it doesn't - feel free to give a call if you are through here.

Rose - glad you have your furbabies. I bet you will have busy and fun Christmases in the future. I know they won't be the same. But maybe they will be better?

HUGS to both of you...the new year starts SOON.

[Queen of Poop]

Rose, I'm so sorry you had a melt down. Perhaps it was time and will be a good thing for helping to move forward. Sounds like your music was a big hit and I am sure that each person did truly appreciate you.

I wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Seasons Greetings, etc. from Cali, Diego and myself. Thank you all for the support you've given us. We made it to our destination safely and really look forward to my moms cabbage rolls for supper tomorrow!

2010 will be a new year for Rose and I and hopefully it will be our best yet. I am looking so forward to leaving 2009 behind.

[Karen]

Thanks for checking in, and I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, and a fun Boxing Day ... we don't celebrate that down here, but as it's a Saturday, might as well!

And continued support and best wishes for the future, it's gotta get better and better!

[Pinot's Mom]

I'm sorry I haven't posted to you two in a little while, it doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you!

Rose, music is a universal healer; for the player and the listener! It always helps! Keep playing!

Gayle, 2010 is almost here! You've made it!

Both of you - 2010 starts your new life - celebrate it!! Thinking of you!

Maggie

[Trinityagain]

Just wanted to pop in and see how you guys are doing...Rose? Gayle? Hoping the new year is off to a roaring good start and that it continues in the most positive way possible!

[Queen of Poop]

I continue to have ups and downs.

I continue to be disappointed in his actions, although they are not entirely unexpected. I just want the whole thing over and him entirely GONE from my life. All in good time I guess.

Cali and Diego continue to provide so much comfort to me. And Diego is quite the chatty catty these days. They make me smile, and make me get up at 2, 3 or 4 in the morning!!

Rose and I trade emails and keep holding each other up. It's a tough road for us both and I hope one day we can get together and share a hug.

Thanks for checking in.

[Alysser]

I hope you guys are okay I know you BOTH will heal in time. Keep it up guys, and please update from time to time. Remember if you need hugs we're always here.