Just reading a book of a cat counsellor, and now I feel bad!

**momcat** · 12-05-2009, 12:32 AM

Kirsten, You are a Meowmie with absolutely nothing to feel bad about. I've never had the honor and privelige of meeting Luna and Lily in person but I have had the pleasure of seeing their pictures and reading about them in your posts. The unconditional love and care you give them has always come shining through! And it's clear to see how much they love you in return!!!

Just who does this person think she is? Where does she get off saying such unfounded things? Of course our kitties love us! Groucho is always waiting for me at the door when I get in from work and the excited greeting I get from him is the best part of my day. Over the last months before my Mom passed away, he was my greatest comfort. Their snuggles, their kisses, the devoted look in their eyes when they see us, if that's not love what is?

There's nothing wrong with keeping them as indoor only. Our indoor kitties are safe and all of their needs are met as they want them. I remember our vet saying indoor kitties don't miss going outside once they get used to staying in. On this, I'll go with our vet.

I can't and won't accept this theory that multi-cat homes cause stress and problems. Even human siblings get on each other's nerves from time to time. Granted, there are situations where two or more kitties in the same home doesn't work out. But like us, each kitty has their own unique personality and at times they clash.

You're one of the best Meowmies I know. Please don't take this nonsense to heart.

**kitten645** · 12-05-2009, 01:47 AM

I think that author is full of pee biscuits and tootsie rools!

She clearly has never known the love of a cat!

There is no other way to describe what we have all experienced with our furkids. The way Calvin looks at me there is NO doubt it's love.
In regards to indoor/outdoor living, my boys were born city cats so they've never known different. They are perfectly happy as is. No one can or should generalize about kitties or people. Everyone is different. Every feline unique. How do you explain Christian the lion? Or the fact that my childhood cat Gigi, found me forty miles from where she was sent to live when my family moved from NY to CA, only having seen my friends house (where I spent the summer) from the car window once when I was dropped off?
Put down the book and go kiss a kitty!

**mrspunkysmom** · 12-05-2009, 08:02 AM

To me this women does not give cats their due. She is lumping cats in with the animals that work by instinct alone and does not consider that cats are individuals and can make choices.

And yes my cats love me and wnat my attention. Ask LJ if she wants to go outside. "No, it was a good day I landed on your porch."

**Kirsten** · 12-05-2009, 08:26 AM

Thanks for your comments!

I'm glad that you're all sure that our kitties love us!

The stories you have told are the best proof!

Luna, however, always wants to be with me. She's always near me, we're very close.

And I know that Lily is very obsessed with Luna. I think she's the center of her world (which sometimes seems to be somewhat stressful for Luna, though)

As for some cats not getting along with others... Well, I'm sure there are cases like that (for example my mother's kitty Dino who choose the life of an outdoor cat the day Peggy moved in). According to the book of the other behavior counsellor that I read (Petra Twadokus, I don't think her books have been translated into English yet), it is in most cases possible to work with them and reach a state of co-existence. I found that very interesing. (That woman btw is running a school for cat behavior counsellors, and I think if I'd ever win the lottery, I will take some courses!)

Re. cats having access to the outdoors... Many people here in Germany do also believe that a cat needs to go out to be happy, but I, for my part, have made the decision that it's too dangerous. Some people would call me seflish because of that, but I hope I'm doing the best I can to give my girls the best life possible!

Kirsten

**columbine** · 12-05-2009, 09:29 PM

I asked Smudge his opinion, whether he felt unjustly imprisoned or unhealthily confined. I might lose a lot in translation - my Feline is limited to "blink," "squint," and "headbump" - but he said "Purrrrrrrr Ikka Brrrrrrrrrrrip Purrrrrrr Squeek Drrrit Purrrrrrrrr," which I took to mean, "Would you like to play Cat Dancer now? Or maybe rub my ears? I like it when you rub my ears!"

Love, Columbine

**RICHARD** · 12-05-2009, 09:59 PM

I have to say this about what this 'expert' wrote.

She may be full of poop.

Do not look at any animal as "Just like my XXXXXX"

Each animal has a different personality. We always measure our next pet against what our previous pet was like. So we get these expectations that sometimes aren't fair to the new one.

And just like people, animals can have problems with their surroundings, housemates, co-workers and ????? I admire all the people who choose to home multiple pets and have to put up with health, behavior, and personality isues.

I know Ed would freak out if I brought a new catr into the house.

There are times when he meets the outdoor cats at the door and doesn't care, but there have been times that I have carried him between houses and he's hissed and scratched me trying to jump out of my arms.

If that woman really knew about cats-I do not doubt her title or her experience, but short of talking to the cats and them answering her.....I have to doubt what she has to say?

**Tora Oni** · 12-06-2009, 01:12 AM

You know I agree with the others on this one, I really prefer the Tribe of the Tiger compare to Cat Confidential since The Tribe of The Tiger covers the whole species of felines domestic and wild. Indoor cats have to be far less stressed then outdoor kitties that live on a farm and have to worry about wild animals and all that. Sure it is challenging but I think if we challenge our pets every day in smaller games to make them work for their food and stuff which when we didn't have a dog we could give Stormy a chance to hunt for his meal. I understand how much stimulation outdoors give to a kitty, I always thought about maybe doing a cat stroller thing or walking a cat or the easiest option and outdoor enclosure of some sort. It isn't necessary, I don't think cats have to go outside they just need to have something to do instead of that outlet. I know this cat counselor had like 7 plus cats so experience isn't really the issue as much view point I think she sees their affection differently.

The whole cats don't love us, maybe they don't love us they way normal love is considered, Love is an abstract idea and comes in many forms and there are tons of different Ideas on what love is. Though a Cat's Love is not that like a Human's love, its not like a dog's love, nor any other animal's. Cat's love is special. Stormy picked me, I was the only one who got away with holding him so much and giving him bathes. Sure Our relationship is he gets food, shelter, and companionship. I got the joy he brought by being himself no he wasn't too loving at first but with time it grew.

**Don Juan's mom** · 12-06-2009, 02:44 AM

i'm having to type this one handed bcause don juan is clinging to my shoulder and purring. sounds like luv to me.

**blue** · 12-06-2009, 03:17 AM

The book is bunk. No cat is the same.

Even if Erp doesnt love me, Im more then happy to give her good scratchins. She chose me, maybe Im the lucky one.

**kb2yjx** · 12-06-2009, 09:46 AM

I think the ONLY thing we are guilty of: is loving and cring for our cats!! We do the best we can do for them, and they know that!!!
If you want an interesting book about cats, try Conversations with Cats by Kate Solisti....

**Kirsten** · 12-06-2009, 11:23 AM

You all made good points here!

I think the way cats love us will always remain a mystery to us, but I'm sure they ARE able to love in their own feline ways...