What is the rudest question...

[K9karen]

When I was in my teens, I was climbing steps from the train to the street, and two handsome, white collar guys (you never know) asked me how long it took me to learn how to get my big fat ass moving up the steps.

Wha? 30+ years later, 30 pounds lighter, I'm still haunted. I can see it as if it was yesterday.

[AdoreMyDogs]

When I was in my teens, I was climbing steps from the train to the street, and two handsome, white collar guys (you never know) asked me how long it took me to learn how to get my big fat ass moving up the steps.

Wha? 30+ years later, 30 pounds lighter, I'm still haunted. I can see it as if it was yesterday.

Karen I'm so angry at the miserable monsters that said that to you. Shame on them, those miserable jerks. When I was a young girl, I was about 12, I was in Santa Barbara, CA at my aunts house and she and a few of her friends were taking my family and I to a big ritzy party. I was (and still am) really sensetive, and this one perticular friend of my aunt was a horrible man. I was waiting for my brother and my dinner to be done in the microwave (we were having those frozen fried chicken pieces and were waiting on the chicken to finish cooking in the microwave) and this friend of my aunts said, "come on Leslie, you don't need to eat, you're fat enough". It took a few seconds to comprehend what he said (no grown-up had ever used those ugly words with me before) and then I ran out of the house crying. I'm still traumatized by that. How could anyone be so ugly, especially to a sweet child?

[Catherinedana]

The thing that immediately comes to mind is (and I've received several versions of this question) Do you have all those birds to make up for the fact that you never had children?

Excuse me. . .I never wanted children. I did, however, want every single bird that I share my home with.

[RICHARD]

The thing that immediately comes to mind is (and I've received several versions of this question) Do you have all those birds to make up for the fact that you never had children?

Excuse me. . .I never wanted children. I did, however, want ever single bird that I share my home with.

Me?

I would have given them the 'bird'.

---------

All you gals out there aren't alone.

My mom would ask me all the time, "when are you going to get married?"

Like most of us, we realized at one point in life that we weren't destined for that road in life.

My answer to them was, "I can't find anyone follish enough to marry me."

Parenthood is a huge responsibility and I think that most of us realized that we are not up to the challenge.

I mean, do they ask people "Don't you have enough kids?" to the people who have a baseball team in tow?

[Catherinedana]

I mean, do they ask people "Don't you have enough kids?" to the people who have a baseball team in tow?

Maybe more like, "How can you live in a house with all those kids?" rather than dogs, cats or birds!!!!

MY kids go to sleep when it gets dark and are quiet all night!
MY kids get put in a cage with a door for a time-out when they misbehave!
MY kids don't beg me for things whenever I go into a store.
MY kids love me unconditionally no matter what I look like, how much money I have or what kind of car I drive and do not expect to be driven by limosine to the school prom.

OK - 'nough said.

[Twisterdog]

Maybe more like, "How can you live in a house with all those kids?" rather than dogs, cats or birds!!!!

MY kids go to sleep when it gets dark and are quiet all night!
MY kids get put in a cage with a door for a time-out when they misbehave!
MY kids don't beg me for things whenever I go into a store.
MY kids love me unconditionally no matter what I look like, how much money I have or what kind of car I drive and do not expect to be driven by limosine to the school prom.

OK - 'nough said.

Not trying to start a fight, really ... but I have to say I was a little surprised and disappointed by this post. This is a thread about the rude and hurtful things others have said to us, and IMO, this post is both of those things.

It is indeed rude and hurtful when someone says derogatory things about our dogs, cats, birds, etc. I can empathise with pet owners who do not have children, having to field rude questions about things that are none of their business. However, is it not exactly the same thing to ridicule and put down people who have children simply because you chose not to have them?

I don't own birds or cats, but I am interested in others' birds and cats, and happy for them because they have something they love. I wouldn't criticize you, or tell you all the reasons my dogs/children/snakes are better than your cats/rabbits/birds. Respect and empathy is a two-way street.

Just seems to be a case of the pot calling the kettle black. "It's rude when people say derogartory things about my birds/dogs/cats, but I feel no qualms about saying derogatory things about their children."

[Catherinedana]

Just seems to be a case of the pot calling the kettle black. "It's rude when people say derogartory things about my birds/dogs/cats, but I feel no qualms about saying derogatory things about their children."

You are absolutely right. . .I finally got the chance to vent about all the years of getting questioned about my choice to be childless. Since I did not personally attack you and was responding to a blog by Richard, I would hope that you do not take it personally. I was attempting to make a joke of the issue (although a rather sarcastic one)>

This is a safe place to discuss and I allowed myself to feel safe enough to say what was on my mind, but will watch my words in future.

Cheers!
Cathy

[Cincy'sMom]

About 2 years ago, I lost a good del of weight. One of my co-workers asked,

"Now that you have lost weight, are you going to have babies?"

Huh?

[redbird]

Maybe more like, "How can you live in a house with all those kids?" rather than dogs, cats or birds!!!!

MY kids go to sleep when it gets dark and are quiet all night!
MY kids get put in a cage with a door for a time-out when they misbehave!
MY kids don't beg me for things whenever I go into a store.
MY kids love me unconditionally no matter what I look like, how much money I have or what kind of car I drive and do not expect to be driven by limosine to the school prom.

OK - 'nough said.

Oh I agree with you so much. I can hardly stand being around kids in my family, it's just the way I have always been. I am very uncomfortable around kids and certainly wouldn't want any of my own. I don't want to hurt any mother's feelings here but I am more attached to the four legged kids and always have been.

[Catherinedana]

Oh I agree with you so much. I can hardly stand being around kids in my family, it's just the way I have always been. I am very uncomfortable around kids and certainly wouldn't want any of my own. I don't want to hurt any mother's feelings here but I am more attached to the four legged kids and always have been.

I got admonished for the post your are responding to . . .

[Taz_Zoee]

I can't think of any rude questions, but the annoying one has to do with Bruce and I not being married. It comes in many forms - Don't you want to get married? Doesn't he want to get married? Do you think you'll ever get married? Do you (does he) want kids?
We've been together for almost 7 years, why get married? It's working just fine as it is. Besides, why is it anyone else's business if I'm married or not? I don't understand!!! If I weren't happy and insisted on being married I guess I would have left him years ago, right?

Laura, I love your response to the "why are you still single?" question. That's hilarious!!! I was asked that a lot back when I was single too. I wish I had that answer for them.

[Pinot's Mom]

Besides, why is it anyone else's business ...

This is at the crux of so many rude questions. The simple answer is, it's NOT anyone else's business. Period.

[Whisk_Luva]

I've been asked the same question twice by this jerk in the mall here. It's one of those center kiosk (sp) things and the sales people are trying to sell their product. In this case it was these neck warmer wrap things. Anyway, I'm walking becide Quinn, and, not to toot my own horn or anything, but she's a stunning child. He looks at her, then looks at me, and then at her and gasps and says, "Oh my goodness, is she YOURS?" When I reply, "yes", he says (after looking at me then back at her, "WOW, she's gorgeous!". Yes I am aware she's a gorgeous child but Mister, I'm not a total hag. It's really insulting. That same man has said that same thing to me twice. I avoid that whole kiosk now. She is a pretty child, and I know I'm not a supermodel or anything, but I'm not a total hag and I am capable of producing a pretty child. GRRRR. It's so insulting. They way he says it, he's obviously surprised that such a pretty child is the product of me. I'm pretty sure he's Italian, the jerk. He's not trying to be a jerk, but he's not thinking about what he says before he says it.

I've always thought that Quinn looks a lot like you..... he obviously has no idea what he is talking about....

[AdoreMyDogs]

I've always thought that Quinn looks a lot like you..... he obviously has no idea what he is talking about....

Thanks sweety Yeah she does resemble me quite a bit. She's a nice mix, looks like daddy and looks like me. My son looks more like me then he looks like daddy.

[prechrswife]

"How much did it cost?" or "Was it expensive?" from total strangers asking about our daughter's adoption. And not a question, but when they see our family with one Asian daughter, and 2 Caucasian children, we get a lot of "Oh, you adopted and then you got pregnant. That happens all the time!" Um, no, lots of people adopt and never have biological children.