Coworkers!

**catnapper** · 11-12-2009, 09:57 AM

I called the former assistant manager this morning - we're having lunch together in a bit. I'm going to ask her what she thinks of me asking. I just need a bit of encouragement

She'll be completely honest with me. I know she thinks I won't make a good manager because I back down so easily in order to avoid fights (BUT I'm getting MUCH better at standing my ground... though I still have a lot of work to do in that area.)

**Cataholic** · 11-12-2009, 10:01 AM

Originally Posted by catnapper

I called the former assistant manager this morning - we're having lunch together in a bit. I'm going to ask her what she thinks of me asking. I just need a bit of encouragement

She'll be completely honest with me. I know she thinks I won't make a good manager because I back down so easily in order to avoid fights (BUT I'm getting MUCH better at standing my ground... though I still have a lot of work to do in that area.)

Change your attitude on this for a moment. Instead of saying that you back down from conflict, say that you back away or off from conflict. That you are a natural conflict avoider. That can be a huge benefit, really. Someone that backs down or away from conflict also could be said to stand back from conflict. That can allow you time to re-think a strategy.

I couldn't back down from conflict if I tried. It just doesn't tear me up, make me nervous, etc. I actually like conflict, as I like working through issues, not around. I am lazy, I think.

**catnapper** · 11-12-2009, 10:05 AM

Originally Posted by Cataholic

I couldn't back down from conflict if I tried. It just doesn't tear me up, make me nervous, etc. I actually like conflict, as I like working through issues, not around. I am lazy, I think.

Thats what makes you a great lawyer!

**Cataholic** · 11-12-2009, 10:09 AM

Originally Posted by catnapper

Thats what makes you a great lawyer!

Well, I am sure if we give this enough time, I can get someone from somewhere else post in the negative on that. But, I am what I am (and I like spinach). It is just more that I can argue vehemently about a topic/subject without having an emotional investment in it. I blow up and blow over in about ten seconds. Perhaps it is that I am missing a soul.

**Marigold2** · 11-12-2009, 10:41 AM

Times are tough and those of us blessed with good jobs want to hold on to them no matter what. When I have a bad day it's mostly the patients not my co-workers thankfully. I just think about being home with my family and pets. Work is work, it's what I do not who I am. When I leave I try very hard to put that part away and just focus on family. It's what gets me through some tough days. Good luck to you.

**kitten645** · 11-12-2009, 12:18 PM

I too am blessed that I love the people I work with. I don't socialize with the people I'm directly responsible for. That is really more an age/life situation. We are rarely off at the same time. One is married with a young child. Etc

I also dislike conflict and I'm a really good manager so don't let that discourage you. I really dislike the drama involved. I don't think management should be about conflict but direct and honest dealings with those you are responsible for. I think your manager is not doing a good job if s/he is allowing these two to ruin the environment. Next time either of them come *itching to you, I'd just say, "I'm not interested." I think temper tantrums are completely inappropriate at work and would say so. It's called anger management.