Holy cow, Gayle, of COURSE you need some counselling. You have been beaten for years, you have gone to your parents', had to put down your best friend, get a place to live, get your stuff from the old place TWICE - holy cow girl, this is MAJOR stress and heartbreak!

My guess from my experience - you have been in survival mode for over a week - our brain does this so we can do what needs to be done.

Now that the major "doing" is over, the "being" catches up. It is safe now for you/your psyche to let go. Yes, get counselling to get you through the first few months...this is a HUGE grieving time. Also remember that you likely have years of crying to catch up on.

It's OK - it really is.

You might find a women's group helpful too...women who have all been where you are.

HUGS!