Hi,
You did the best you could for Journey. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm so sorry about your husband, too. You've been thru a lot. It seems like the two Vets didn't agree with each other and were giving you different options and really confusing you. I had something similar happen with my 16 year old kitty, Tommy, but with different diseases and different circumstances. My kitty went in feeling fine and came home terribly sick and traumatized. I was so heartbroken and had wished I had never taken him in for a senior exam. She wanted me to bring him back for an ultrasound, but she would have anesthetized him again. With him being so sick, I feared he wouldn't survive the anesthesia. Tommy had intestinal lymphoma, diagnosed by a different Vet later. But he was showing no symptoms went I took him in for his senior exam. The vet sedated him and did a needle aspiration which went awry and caused an infection. I found another Vet, and Tommy rallied for seven months. I had so many questions though as to what may have happened to see a cat happy and fine in the morning, only to pick him up three hours and looking terribly sick. I'm rambling on too long here, but what I did was call the Vet and Staff and get answers. I called many times. Even a year later I still had questions for this first Vet and got some different answers.

You seem to have so many questions and confusion, just as I had that time. Why not make an appointment with Journey's Vet and take in all your questions and see if this will help you understand more of what went on during the exam. My heart and prayers go out to you. Please let us know how you're doing.