And the rebuttal ..... Dog Haiku ....

Cat is not all bad
She leaves tootsie rolls in the
Litter box for me

My owner is home
I am so ecstatic that
I have made a puddle

I wear the collar
Look world! Oh, they strangle me!
Hack, hack, hack, hack, hack.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

Dig under fence - why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

I sound the alarm!
Mailman fiend - come to kill us all -
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Paper boy come to kill all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat - come to kill all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
this long-rotten squirrel.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do.

They are romantic
I lie calmly at their feet
I fart a big one