It's over...

[Catty1]

Gayle, this is for adult children of alcoholics. Even if alcohol is not a factor, there is strength in here that I hope you find.

Personal Bill of Rights

1. I have a right to all those good times that I have longed for all these years and didn’t get.
2. I have a right to joy in this life, right here, right now — not just a momentary rush of euphoria but something more substantive.
3. I have a right to relax and have fun in a nonalcoholic and nondestructive way.
4. I have a right to actively pursue people, places, and situations that will help me in achieving a good life.
5. I have the right to say no whenever I feel something is not safe or I am not ready.
6. I have a right to not participate in either the active or passive “crazy-making” behavior of parents, of siblings, and of others.
7. I have a right to take calculated risks and to experiment with new strategies.
8. I have a right to change my tune, my strategy, and my funny equations.
9. I have a right to “mess up”; to make mistakes, to “blow it”, to disappoint myself, and to fall short of the mark.
10. I have a right to leave the company of people who deliberately or inadvertently put me down, lay a guilt trip on me, manipulate or humiliate me, including my alcoholic relative, my nonalcoholic relatives, or any other member of my family.
11. I have a right to put an end to conversations with people who make me feel put down and humiliated.
12. I have a right to all my feelings.
13. I have a right to trust my feelings, my judgment, my hunches, my intuition.
14. I have a right to develop myself as a whole person emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, and psychologically.
15. I have a right to express all my feelings in a nondestructive way and at a safe time and place.
16. I have a right to as much time as I need to experiment with this new information and these new ideas and to initiate changes in my life.
17. I have a right to sort out the bill of goods my parents sold me — to take the acceptable and dump the unacceptable.
18. I have a right to a mentally healthy, sane way of existence, though it will deviate in part, or all, from my parents' prescribed philosophy of life.
19. I have a right to carve out my place in this world.
20. I have a right to follow any of the above rights, to live my life the way I want to, and not wait until my alcoholic relative gets well, gets happy, seeks help, or admits there is a problem.

[cassiesmom]

As Medusa said - I don't know the details - but I'm praying and sending (((HUGS))) for you.

[blue]

I can think of a few web sites where members would be grabbing rubber hoses, sharpening pitchforks, lighting torches and heading to the soon to be ex's house.

QOP, good for you for getting out. Stay strong.

[Daisy and Delilah]

I've also wondered for a long time how things were going at your house, Gayle. I am so glad to hear you've made this choice. Like blue said:::Stay Strong!! We're here for you. PM to me is always open and I'll be ready. You've done the right thing. No one deserves to be treated like you have and especially for so long.

[Queen of Poop]

Thanks everyone. It is so good to have support. You just don't know. I'm back to ask for prayers and good thoughts. I've found a place to rent, where I could have the kittens with me. It's only 1000 per month, with 200 on top for utilities. It would be fully furnished. I need good thoughts to make them get back to me and let me have the place.

As a side note, Sasha is not doing well and I am afraid I am going to have to make the final decision for her on top of all the other stuff I am going thru. She looks at me with tired eyes and seems to be in so much pain, even though she's still on her pain meds.

I don't know how I'm going to get thru all this.

[RICHARD]

I don't know how I'm going to get thru all this.

Today's problems belong to yesterday, tomorrow.

One day at a time and will get thru it.

Or you can give up now, lie down, roll up into a little ball and not be bothered.


You will get thru this, it just takes time and patience. Everyone has time-patience is something that is a little bit harder to come by, but it's there.

Prayers needed?
Prayers sent.

[Asiel]

So sorry QOP but quoting Medussa. I'll keep you in my thoughts and keep my fingers crossed for that apartment you hope to get.
One day at a time is the best way to cope , but hoping that decision for your fur friend can be put off.