I'm sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. The smoking and drinking would really bother me, too. I don't care who it is- I wouldn't want them smoking around my baby!

My in-laws and I have always gotten along, but my MIL is a bit more annoying to me now, since she often has unsolicited (if good intentioned) advice and she is, of course, always right. I just smile and nod and do things my way. It really isn't a problem because they live 1,000 miles away.