I don't think there's a doubt that he loves you. I personally couldn't be with someone who wouldn't hold my hand or tell me that he loves me. I'm very affectionate and like to have it reciprocated. I don't mind being friends or acquaintances with people that don't feel the same way, but not in really close relationships. It's just not in me to compromise to that extreme.

I believe that people have more than one soulmate in their lifetime. It's not always just about being in love with each other, timing has a lot to do with whether or not a relationship is right for you. If you're waiting for him to just surprise you one day, I hate to say that I think you'll be let down. If he doesn't see it as a problem worth working on (through counseling, men's church programs, self help training like www.discovery-training.com, etc), then he will more than likely never change that aspect of his behavior/personality.

It's a tough decision at any point in life, but you really have to decide if this part of the relationship is a deal breaker or not. For me, it would be, but I don't think I would have even gone a year without the words of affirmation or the affection that you're missing with him.

I know that I accept and even agree with some parts of my husband's personality or behavior that other women would consider completely unacceptable. It's just a matter of what works for you and him, right here right now. Not what might work later.

I think you are a great girl, and he sounds like a great guy! And, again, I don't doubt for a moment that he loves you. It doesn't really sound like you doubt it, either. I think you're just at a bit of a crossroads, trying to figure out if you and he are going to continue down the path together or separately.

I hope I haven't offended you, it's just my thoughts on this, based on what I've seen in Pet Talk over the last few years. Either way, I wish you both the best.