Things are great, but.. ? [relationship question]

[prechrswife]

Ask him. That's all...if there's any insecurity, just ask him. Maybe it's just me, I'm a pretty direct kind of person, but that's what I'd do.

I agree.

[CountryWolf07]

The thing is, I have asked - He seems to be insecure about feelings & emotions but he said he does, he just doesn't like to say it, never has. He really defends himself on that issue - so I just leave him alone about it, because it seems like the more I try to encourage him to be open, he just stays closed. He grew up in that situation in a family where they never really say "I love you". So he asked me if I thought he didn't considering all of the things he's done for me and all the times he's been with me. He is really affectionate in other ways, not with words. He remembers all the little things, etc. Maybe I do have a problem with myself. Don't get me wrong, we both are happy with each other, we laugh a lot and really enjoy being around each other, and once in a while, that gets on my mind and causes me to think. Maybe it is one of his flaws that never came up until later on into the relationship. Nobody's perfect, right?

[pomtzu]

Does he send you cards on your birthday or Valentine's Day, that have a message of love? Maybe he just can't say it. If you've been together for 3 years, and he shows love in his actions, I think it would be pretty safe to say that he most likely does. However, I'm like you - I like to hear the words to go along with the actions.
Maybe he's saving it for the day he proposes to you.

[CountryWolf07]

Does he send you cards on your birthday or Valentine's Day, that have a message of love? Maybe he just can't say it. If you've been together for 3 years, and he shows love in his actions, I think it would be pretty safe to say that he most likely does. However, I'm like you - I like to hear the words to go along with the actions.
Maybe he's saving it for the day he proposes to you.

No cards on Valentine's Day or flowers/gifts, anything like that really. Birthday cards, yes, but not with "love" on them, but just humorous cards, signs it with his name, that's all. I don't know, he's just a very different guy. We don't hold hands, etc. any like of the normal couples you'd see out there in public, but you know we are together, by how we act and walk together, etc. I honestly think he's afraid of a lot of things - especially when it comes to admitting/opening up on feelings/emotions. Just wish he'd realize it is OK to do that stuff.

[lvpets2002]

I have had the same man in my life for 13 years now.. We dont say the words to each other.. However we know we love each other in our hearts.. Some people just cant say the words -but do love you.. Some people say the words & they dont mean it & that is worse.. You will know in your heart that your Mike loves you..

[Lori Jordan]

This could relate back to when he was a child.I could be 100% wrong too so please dont take this the wrong way.I have seen alot of my friends,even family,That there family never ever said those three words,And when you never hear them it could be hard to say "I Love You".I myself rarely ever heard it from my mother,I have never had a problem saying it but some might.I have seen alot over my years of this.Its not that he does not love you,I dont think any of us could be with someone we did not feel for.

Just observe a bit maybe and see how the interaction with his parents are,When you are not shown or have not heard the words in some cases it maybe hard to say them to someone else,Me and my mother had a a rocky relationship when i was growing up,Same from my grandfather he never said it But i knew he did just the way he was with me.I know these arnt examples from relationships with the opposite sex,But that could be his problem.


I have read your posts about him and you,There is no doubt in my mind that he does love you,You can see it!.But i also know how much it means to me when my husband tells me he loves me,Everything else just disapears.Talk to him,Tell him how your feeling,When you are with someone you should be able to talk to them about anything.Even if you or the spouse dont like what there hearing.

[Cataholic]

It would be a problem for me. Not because I do or don't feel loved, or the like. But, because it is, to me an indicator that there are problems in the area of emotional health, and these problems do not go away on their own.