Wow, any time I need a good cry I'll just come to this thread. Reading everyone's experiences again is breaking my heart. I knew it would someday come to this for me too. And I also knew that I'd have PT to help me through it when the time came. I can't thank you all enough for being there for me through this difficult time.

We just did his sub-q's and he actually did good. No growling and he only moved a teeny bit. I also gave him is epogen shot this morning. That could be why he was hiding in the bathroom today. Hopefully that and the fluids will kick in and he will have a better day tomorrow.

Yes, it has been hot here and we think that's why he likes to hang out in the bathroom because it's cooler. We try to keep the house fairly cool, especially since Bruce works from home. I understand what you mean by the look in his eyes. And a couple of times I thought I saw it. But I don't think it's consistent enough yet. He has his good days and bad days. So once he has several bad days in a row I'll know it's time. I'll just hope that it's not while I'm gone and he's in my moms care. I don't want my mom to have to make that decision or go through that heartache.

Oh, I've been cheating a little on his antibiotics. I let the pill disolve in tuna juice and he drank it up. Probably not the correct dosage, but close enough. The doctor told me to finish the pills and there are 10 pills that I break in half. That's twenty days! That seems like a lot to me. I'll ask her about it when we go in on Thursday. The Maalox I can handle because it's not much and it's liquid so it goes down easier.

I can (and will) make it through this!!!!!