Richard, this is a very thought provoking thread. Well, wrote at that. My dad died a month ago - my siblings and I and other family members have shared so many stories about my dad. He was 90 years old and still going strong until the pnuemonia got him. He didn't "play" with us alot but he worked hard so we could have a better life than he had. He made sure we traveled some where new each summer even if it meant a small travel trailer and sandwiches and drinks by the roadside. We always depended on him for
"fixing things" or "knowing" things. I have caught myself thinking "I'll call and ask dad if he has any ideas" the last few weeks and then remember, he's gone.

Our son died almost 4 years ago now. Father's Day is tough for Carl and yet he has two great daughters who help remind him he is still very lucky. One brings the Dominic and Jasmine over to crawl all over him, kissing and hugging him and wishing him Happy Father's Day! The other drove down from Toledo to go to a dirt track race last night here in Findlay - the first time the track has been used in a long time to find it was a bad night at the race track and very little racing got done. Oh, but the memories made of a dusty, dirty evening together!


and a sad thing for me
I just wanted to unload a little angst and kinda remind everyone to make the effort to remember or if they have the opportunity to give dad a few minues of their time.
What happens when the father won't take the time for his children? My grand kids have not seen their dad since March. I don't know where Brian's head is right now but he has no idea of what he is missing and can never get back. Kids grow so fast! The things they say and do can never happen they way they do when they are so young. The way 3 and 5 year olds think - so amazing, so funny, so special. He has missed out on so much of their childhood by being away in Iraq and now by choice is still missing out. I feel so sad for these great kids --- and yet, I wonder, if he was with them, would their lives be any different? Would he see the value of being with them or find excuses not to be with them. Their grandfather (Carl) gives them so much - his time, his love, and so much more - they really are very lucky children after all!

Which gets us back to your sister's kids. You don't have to have your own children to be a dad. Anyone who contributes to their love and attention and shows them they are valuable as someone to love and is there for them is often more of a dad than ones who are the biological fathers. And it sounds like you fit that bill!