Sounds like maybe you can't wait for him to snap out of it on his own. Sometimes you have to offer someone an ultimatum to get them thinking and then acting. You can't live off of his sister and you certainly can't keep going deeper into debt. Perhaps he should seek counseling "or else"? The or else needs to come from you - what are you strong enough to do for yourself and your family?
I've been there too, with my 1st husband. He chose "or else" . . .it was the best thing that ever happened to me!
Sending love,
Cathy
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