I'm trying to be a good wife....

[catnapper]

He apparently felt bad today because he showed up at work (and caught me cruising Monster, while my coworker was scouring Careerbuilder) and he hung out for a while (ok, so we weren't exactly busy at work tonight ) I think he shold go for a management type job in retail like me. I think it would make him happy and he'd be good at it. OR he can get off his bee-hind and file the disability retirement papers. It won't pay much, but he'll be able to pay the mortgage each month and allow him to get a part time job while continue watching Cam

While he was a my job, a customer came in and I honestly think he was meant to meet her! She was so wise and said to him how he can't let one job get his soul and to leave teaching temporarily and return later. Just get out, get himself back together, and go back in a few years. She left by giving us both hugs. wow.

[Medusa]

I have no words of wisdom just empathy for you because I've been there w/my (then) husband except that it was our own business that we had to close and start over doing something else entirely. It took a while but he did it and he's more successful in this career than he was in the last. So take heart, my friend. We never know what can happen. Keep the faythe.

[NoahsMommy]

The male ego is very, very delicate. It seems as though they need to learn what they need to learn on their own - the hard way. While it doesn't make much sense to us, its the way a lot of men are wired. Maybe trying the supportive ONLY approach would entice him over to 'your side' of thinking.

As in, only offer him positive reinforcement for the number of resumes and jobs applied for (or whatever job searching he's doing). At least he's applying. When he see's you're only there to be supportive and only want him to be happy (ie: with a job, and feeling good that he can support a family - males are VERY sensitive to that), he'll be more inclined to ask YOUR advice.

Maybe just try that for a week and see what comes of it.

Looking back at my marriage with David, I wish like heck I would have taken a more supportive approach to A LOT of things vs. just me reacting and wanting it done my way. I think that I really would have gotten what I wanted in the end had I only had been supportive - a husband that WANTED to succeed to make ME happy, to support us. I can honestly say that if I took that approach, I KNOW in my heart things would have worked out for us. I'm not saying this is "THE ANSWER" for you, but maybe its worth a try.

Whatever works, you'll be in my prayers. Its so hard when the person you rely on isn't doing what we think should be done. Its hard to depend on another human being, especially when things like the morgage and FOOD are in question. I truly feel your pain, Kim, and I hope it all works out for everyone involved.

Hugs & Love,
Kelly

[beeniesmom]

Hope he finds a job soon. I know it's difficult.

Hubby had to put up with me when I was out of work.
I know I was difficult to deal with.

Your hubby feels frustrated, inadequate, guilty and helpless.
As soon as he find a satisfying job, things will change. For now, continue to be patient, supportive and try to remember the good times.

Here is a really good job site: www.indeed.com
You just pop in your zip code and voila'.