Dear Pro Pizza Customers,
Let me give you some helpful hints:
A.) Our special has been the same since the earth started turning. Calling every day to ask just annoys the workers. The only exception is anyone calling from Super 8 or you just moved to town. We have Caller I.D., we can tell. Everyone else is considered a “regular”.
B.) Telling us to hurry up does not bump you to the front on the line. In fact depending on the mood of the order taker you could be bumped to the end of the line for the next 2 order for it.
C.) The managers can’t give you a pizza free no matter how long it takes. The owner, Bill, is the only one with that power. If you plan on asking Bill for a free pizza, please tell us. We’ll need to call the paramedics.
D.) The vegetables are additional toppings ALWAYS. Don’t be alarmed if you ask for the price of a pepperoni pizza and then order a pepperoni, green pepper, onion, black olive pizza and we tell you a different price.
E.) If you are picking up the order we tell you the same time regardless of the size of the pizza, complaining that “it’s just a small pizza” does not prompt us to change the time.
F.) If you call and we place you on hold calling back will not somehow jump you to the head of the line. We have 2 lines, if we place Line 2 on hold so we can finish taking the order on Line 1 and Line 2 rings again 3 seconds later we know who it is. You are not helping yourselves. You are actually making the process longer because we have to continuously interrupt the first person to put you on hold.
G.) We cook with an oven not a microwave; the food is not instantaneously cooked.
H.) Our oven is automated. It turns on automatically at 9:45 am and off at 10:00 pm sharp. We can’t make an exception for you. Bill knows how to force the oven back on but we do not.
I.) We see Bill maybe an hour a day. Unless we call him and tell him the oven’s on fire, we can’t get him in the store.
Deliveries:
A.) We are not Pizza Hut or Dominos, the “30 minutes or it’s free” thing does not apply to us. We deliver to a 30 square mile radius with usually 1 delivery driver.
B.) New Madrid County as a whole has trouble keeping a consistent numbering pattern. Please turn your house lights on if you call for delivery after dark. It’s just a common courtesy and it helps speed up the delivery process.
C.) On most nights the delivery driver has nothing to do with the making of the pizzas. If there is a problem we will be happy to correct it for you but no you can’t keep the mess up for free.
D.) If you have an apartment number give it to us. If the delivery driver does not see an apartment number they assume it is a house. When they can’t find the house they take it back to Pro to await your phone call.
E.) We deliver to whoever is closest first. It doesn’t seem fair but it is efficient. So if you live so far out in the country even Jason Voorhees is nervous your wait might be longer than you expect. We will try to tell you this on the phone or at least send out a delivery driver just for you.
F.) Giving us your name is not an address. We don’t care how often we deliver to you, we need an address.
G.) We write down the time that you called and the time it was promised. Calling after 30 minutes to complain that your pizza is taking an hour so you can get a discount is not going to work.
Thank you for listening. We really do 
you guys.
Hold your head high.
Don't ever let 'em define
The light in your eyes.
Love yourself, give them Hell.
You can take on this world.
You just stand and be strong
And then fight
Like a girl.
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