I know many of you may think I'm a monster and my conduct reproachable. I fully comprehend the things I've done to my cat are disgusting and vile. There are no excuses for my actions. Nothing can be said or done to undo what has happened. I am not concerned about what you may think of me as a person. My concern is carrying out the best course of action for the well-being of my cat.
I'm not a parent and have never had children, but I would imagine what I'm going through now would be similar to a parent saying goodbye to their child. It's not an easy decision. Truth be told, there's a part of me that wants to put in the effort and make things right, then there's another part of me that wants to throw in the towel and let the chips fall where they may. I've said before that I've stopped loving my cat. It dawned on me that love is not a feeling, it's something you do and express by action. I asked myself would I keep him if I had unlimited resources? Then I realized it's not about how much or if I still loved him, it's about how much I'm willing to do to keep him.
People who love and care about animals are a special breed, especially those who love animals nobody wants. When I see what some of you have sacrificed to keep your pets beside you, it serves as a reminder I am in no position to complain. I admire your compassionate heart and your selfless dedication.
It's strange the things you will disclose to people you don't know when you have the protection of anonymity. If you ask me what I hoped to accomplish by posting my story I honestly can't tell you exactly. I do know there are many of you on here way smarter than me and have a better perspective on life than I probably ever will.
For those of you who sent me kind thoughts and prayers, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Ultimately, I need to make the final decision on my own. I will do my very best to keep my emotions in check and do what's best for my cat.
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