I came back to my moms today, I thought I should post this...

I just could not put her down today. I woke up this morning, miserable. I looked at her and it broke my heart. It was about 70 degrees, so I opened the windows and let the air blow in. She even tried to swat a fly from the screen. I just needed one more day. I know the reality of this, I understand that she probably has FIP and will not live. BUT in my heart, I just am in denial. I rescheduled for tomorrow. I feel terrible, but she has good days and bad days. Today was a good day, and I could not face putting her down when she was up and about.

I feel so selfish, but how do you know when it is time? I hate bringing her back to the vet, she hates that place. She is scared the whole time, and I want her to be able to tell me "its time"... I just ache for her. I have NEVER had to put my own cat to sleep. Fosters I have but never my own. She is still a baby, and I just cant face it. I hate this part of being a meowmie.

Anyways, please still pray for the others, and that God gives me the strength to let her go, and that she is happy and restored once again. Thank you for all of the prayers and well wishes.