There's no decent men left

[Chinadoll]

Originally posted by Soledad
Chinadoll- As a family member to many a servicemen/cop I can tell you that it's more than the lifestyle that has to be adapted to. There are severe emotional issues as well, and as a result servicemen/cops have phenomenal rates of domestic abuse. Now I love my aforementioned family members, but it was not a lifestyle or risk I was willing to take. I've seen many a nice guy ruined/hardened by that life, and I didn't want to be involved in it again. So, others, be warned.

Also "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" is actually a quote from Gloria Steinhem.

Half of my family was in some sort of military service at one time or another. Yes, it is hard to be the wife of a cop/military man...but I'm wasn't talking about domestic abuse....I was more speaking of dealing with the fact that they put themselves at risk everyday. I don't believe that just because a man is exposed to the life and experiences that being in the miltary/police force provides that he has a greater chance of domestic abuse...I believe there are a great number of factors that lead to man becoming abusive...one of which that I believe is the main factor is the environment they grew up in...not that that is an excuse for any kind of behaviour....but it is a factor.

I guess we're both a bit biased. I know many cops, Marines, and other military men that are all great guys...some wonderful family men that have been married for years. I'm sorry your experiences led you to feel that you want to avoid being involved with any type serviceman/cop. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm trivializing your experience, I'm sure you have valid reasons to feel the way you do. But I'd hate for anyone to avoid a potentially wonderful relationship with a man in the military/police force just because they assume that that type of life leads to men with greater chance of domestic abuse. I'd just hope that people would judge the man first and not the profession.

I have strong feeling about this because I'm practically engaged to a man that is a Marine and a cop. You see cases on the news about domestic abuse that never would have made the news except for the fact that it was a military man. I feel that that leads to poeple tend to generalizing that military are all hardcore, abusive nutcases. They are not all like that. No case of domestic abuse is right...any man that chooses to do that is a coward and weak in my book. I hope no one thinks I'm sounding pompous..I'm just blabbering on inadequately trying to express what I feel. Sometimes there just aren't the right words.