Diane Sawyer - Appalachian Special

[K9soul]

Don't see why a young couple with no children but with a half way decent car can't pick up and leave, drive 100 or 500 miles away were there are jobs.

It's always easy when on the outside looking in to say what people should do to improve their lives. Even with family and friends, it's easy to get caught up in looking at how they live and how they could improve on things. It just may not be so easy and cut and dry as it seems.

[Daisy and Delilah]

It's always easy when on the outside looking in to say what people should do to improve their lives. Even with family and friends, it's easy to get caught up in looking at how they live and how they could improve on things. It just may not be so easy and cut and dry as it seems.

Well said, as always, Jess.

As I've said before, I was once a person that believed that all things were easy until I met these people.
The bond between family members is like no other. These bonds are made not to be broken, in their eyes. The young people would rather live this way and suffer than to "betray" their family.
Many of these people are ill for one reason or another. Alot of them can't get to a doctor so their conditions go unattended to most of the time. Alot of times, it's too late. For a young person to leave a sick family member is basically unheard of in alot of situations.

The younger people live strictly by what's been taught to them by their elders. The tremendous respect for them prevents the children from abandoning their parents/grandparents. This is the way they live and it's the only life they know. They'll live like this and so will some of their offspring. Other children may hear of a different way of life and make a break for another way.

For example: Different cultures require certain things of their young people. Some things they are allowed to do and some things they aren't. Mostly unwritten laws but known by all of them. These Appalachian people are, by and large, another culture living within the United States.

It's not just the family bonds that control their destiny. They live with alot of fear of change and the unknown.

I would love to see them improve their way of life. I think most people would. However, it's just not that easy for some of them.

[Medusa]

It's always easy when on the outside looking in to say what people should do to improve their lives. Even with family and friends, it's easy to get caught up in looking at how they live and how they could improve on things. It just may not be so easy and cut and dry as it seems.

Absolutely! It's been my experience that the people who are quickest to judge are the ones who should take a look at their own lives. I also feel that depression and the sense of being overwhelmed probably plays a large role in how quickly they begin to make changes. The high school football player is a prime example. He has to be self motivating and it got him so far and then he had no support system which caused him to give up. Fortunately that has changed for him but not everyone is so lucky. So many of us are just plain spoiled and we forget or never even knew what it's like to truly struggle. Can you imagine having to walk 8 miles each way in the rain to get a GED, then when you finally get back home, you probably don't have enough food to eat? I've lived in conditions not much better than that, so I can say from experience that unless someone w/vision, insight, determination, patience and, yes, money, comes in and is willing to take the time to teach and work right alongside these people, chances are that things will never change for them. Sad but true.

[Daisy and Delilah]

So true, Mary. You make some great points.

I think we are super spoiled and have no idea what it's like to have to struggle for aything. We get irritated if the tv cable goes out, irritated to walk to the refrigerator sometimes, irritated if we have to walk too far to get into a store, irritated if we have to wash our new car, irritated if we have to pay for something that we could be without all together, etc., etc.

We just don't know what things are like until we've walked in the shoes of other people.

[Marigold2]

Sorry guys but I beg to differ. I don't understand these people and frankly have very little pity for their self-made problems.
Does my family know suffering oh yes, oh yes we do? Especially my mom who went to concentation camp at 17. She had 10 brothers and sisters and no one lived but her. Talk about suffering. What did we do on our 18th birthday? Hopefully not watch our family suffer and die as my mom did. Both my parents entire families were in the war. My dad's house was bombed in the middle of the night, they lived in a barn for a while in the middle of winter and considered themselves lucky.
My parents wanted something better for the kids, so did my grandparents.
Yes my dad's parent's, and three aunts all lived in one house when they came over from Germany but all learned to read and write English, all worked outside of the home, no one took public assistance. All four bought their own homes and had their own families.
No one stopped speaking German, we just added English. No one lost the tradions or respect of the old courtry.
And it wasn't just my family it was millions of immigrants from all corners of the world, who left everything they knew and loved. They had to change, learn a new tongue, new skills, street signs, food, culture, tradions and they did all after watching their families being killed. They just did it.
And they always wanted better for their kids, always prayed and hoped and pushed their kids to do better, live better, be happy, learn, grow, go to school for most never had a chance with the war bombing their homes and schools.
Walking 8 miles to get a GED try walking 8 miles in a city blown to peices and burning, no food no water and the stench of the dead everywhere. That is WW11 was. If you don't believe me ask some man who served overseas in that time.
If these people loved their kids, they would want their lives to be better then their own. they would encourage their children to get an education and not hold them back for their own selfess reasons. Whom amoung us does not want something better for their child? Whom amoung us does not want the respect of our child? This is 2009 not 1309. They might not have food but I bet they have TV for the most part and plenty of Camel Lights and drugs. Sorry no pity here. They are horrible mothers.
My family came from so much worst I understand the suffering of the innocent. These people brought much of this upon themselves and when they can stop being selfess and put their children first then maybe I will want to help them. And yes I know I sound like a B&^%%
but these children deserve better. It makes me angry to see a selfess mother bred likea dog and not care for her children, sorry to all the dogs in advance. I just want to shake some sense into these woman and ask them what the hell they think they are doing to their child.

[caseysmom]

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”
quote - Paulo Coelho

[K9soul]

Marigold, you must be one of those people who feel depression and despair are a person's choice and they just need to snap out of it. There's really nothing that can be said to people who feel that way. Of course people who have conquered all adversity and risen above to make a new life should be admired and are an inspiration. But do we really know what makes the difference between someone who is able to do that and someone who isn't? Is it an increased mental fortitude, increased support from some place? Every life is different, every mind different. Everyone's threshold is different. You seem convinced it's a matter of pure selfish and lazy versus people who want to help themselves. The world is not so very black and white. You seemed to like the quote 'God helps those who help themselves." What about "Judge not lest ye be judged?"

[Daisy and Delilah]

I have tried to find the right words to answer your post, Marigold. I am preceded here by some of our most eloquent speakers on this board. I will try to put my thoughts down and hope it makes sense.

I think you base alot of your thoughts on what was portrayed in the Diane Sawyer special only. You have to realize, that show didn't accurately describe every person in Appalachia or in other poverty stricken areas. The ones I know are God fearing, hard working, clean, proud, and, honest people who love their children and their families. A love that is strong and controls their every move. I would hate to hear someone tell my former MIL, and, still my friend, that she 's a horrible mother. That is so harsh. How can you say these women are horrible mothers? How can you say they don't love their children? You don't know these people. You've proven that by what you said. That dear woman is one of the finest people I have ever met. She opened her arms to me and gave me food and shelter when I needed it. At 82 years old, her health is failing but she still represents one of the strongest human beings on this earth. I love and respect her with all my heart.

I felt the people depicted in the special were individuals that were completely unique. They actually allowed themselves to be interviewed and filmed for a television show!! This is not everybody there so we can't base all our thoughts on what we saw on tv.

In all respect for you and your family, their hardship was great. The overcame adversity and made a better life for themselves. However, as Mary said, you are comparing apples to oranges. Your family and the Appalachian people are not the same.

Some of those mountain people stay in the mountains. They don't leave the area. Many of them don't drive. They grow their food or raise their food in livestock. In other words, they are genuinely unaware of another type of life being available. Some of them are like hermits. They know nothing else. But, again, this doensn't describe all of the Appalachian people.

As far as the smoking goes, I saw many people smoking but you better believe they put food on the table. They aren't smoking and starving their children. Their families are number one. Always. What's wrong with having a television? I don't think there are many homes in the country that don't have some kind of a television. It is the only link to the outside that some of them have. If the tv is on, they watch it as a family. The drugs: as I said in another post, I was unaware of this problem when I was there. The doctors are prescribing the drugs for these people. All these people know is that the drugs make them feel better so they take them. It seems to have turned into abuse in some people. But, I'm sure not every person in Appalachia is abusing drugs either.

You are grouping all people as being sterotypical druggies, drunks, smokers, bad parents, etc. You just can't do that. You do sound bitter, I have to say. I'm sorry your family had such a struggle. Unfortunately, it just isn't fair to group the two situations together. I get upset reading the comments that were made about this tv show. I hope all of you(meaning you and those that commented on ABC's website) can realize that you can't judge these people on what you think you know.

[Medusa]

Walking 8 miles to get a GED try walking 8 miles in a city blown to peices and burning, no food no water and the stench of the dead everywhere. That is WW11 was.

You're comparing apples to oranges here. Each generation has done what it needed to do to survive. Neither circumstance is desirable. The woman who walks 8 miles each way to get her GED deserves credit, someone to pat her on the back and say "Atta girl!". She needs encouragement so that she won't give up and stay in those conditions. She's at least trying, she's making an effort and, hopefully, once she gets her GED, she'll get a decent job so that she can improve her living conditions. She's trying to help herself and thus help her kids, as you say they must do and I don't disagree. If her kids see her placing such a high value on education that she's willing to brave the elements and make that long trip on foot each day, chances are that they'll value an education, too, and will follow in her footsteps to better their own lives. She is not a horrible mother; she's a mother who has no outside help, no examples to emulate, a mother who is trying her best. She isn't abandoning her children; she's setting an example for them. Yes, she smokes. Yes, she probably has a TV. Who would begrudge her those simple pleasures, regardless of our stand on smoking and the resultant health issues? I hope and pray that she doesn't lose hope, that she makes it and proves the naysayers wrong.