Diane Sawyer - Appalachian Special

[Marigold2]

I saw the update as well. The young man who shoved coal should practice birth control. With one child and another on the way they are making themselves poor. If they had no children the wife could work and they wouldn't have these enomous child care costs they all of us have things llike diapers and formula etc etc.
Don't see why a young couple with no children but with a half way decent car can't pick up and leave, drive 100 or 500 miles away were there are jobs. Even McDonald's which pays $7.00 an hour to start is not bad if you have two people working that is $14.00 an hour or $560.00 a week combined before taxes, and then you could get a second job. All of my kids have second jobs. If before taxes you bring home say $700.00 a week you can afford a small one bedroom apartment in many cities or small towns. You can buy furniture at Goodwill to start or go to garage sales. Maybe start to take one class a semester at college. It is possible as long as you stop having kids. God helps those that help themselves. Helping oneself to 5 kids before you are 21 is not what he meant.
As far as the young football player is concerned I could not be happier for him. He is intelligent and hardworking and refuses to continue to be a victim. People gladly help those that help themselves, he is a hero.

[K9soul]

Don't see why a young couple with no children but with a half way decent car can't pick up and leave, drive 100 or 500 miles away were there are jobs.

It's always easy when on the outside looking in to say what people should do to improve their lives. Even with family and friends, it's easy to get caught up in looking at how they live and how they could improve on things. It just may not be so easy and cut and dry as it seems.

[Daisy and Delilah]

It's always easy when on the outside looking in to say what people should do to improve their lives. Even with family and friends, it's easy to get caught up in looking at how they live and how they could improve on things. It just may not be so easy and cut and dry as it seems.

Well said, as always, Jess.

As I've said before, I was once a person that believed that all things were easy until I met these people.
The bond between family members is like no other. These bonds are made not to be broken, in their eyes. The young people would rather live this way and suffer than to "betray" their family.
Many of these people are ill for one reason or another. Alot of them can't get to a doctor so their conditions go unattended to most of the time. Alot of times, it's too late. For a young person to leave a sick family member is basically unheard of in alot of situations.

The younger people live strictly by what's been taught to them by their elders. The tremendous respect for them prevents the children from abandoning their parents/grandparents. This is the way they live and it's the only life they know. They'll live like this and so will some of their offspring. Other children may hear of a different way of life and make a break for another way.

For example: Different cultures require certain things of their young people. Some things they are allowed to do and some things they aren't. Mostly unwritten laws but known by all of them. These Appalachian people are, by and large, another culture living within the United States.

It's not just the family bonds that control their destiny. They live with alot of fear of change and the unknown.

I would love to see them improve their way of life. I think most people would. However, it's just not that easy for some of them.

[Medusa]

It's always easy when on the outside looking in to say what people should do to improve their lives. Even with family and friends, it's easy to get caught up in looking at how they live and how they could improve on things. It just may not be so easy and cut and dry as it seems.

Absolutely! It's been my experience that the people who are quickest to judge are the ones who should take a look at their own lives. I also feel that depression and the sense of being overwhelmed probably plays a large role in how quickly they begin to make changes. The high school football player is a prime example. He has to be self motivating and it got him so far and then he had no support system which caused him to give up. Fortunately that has changed for him but not everyone is so lucky. So many of us are just plain spoiled and we forget or never even knew what it's like to truly struggle. Can you imagine having to walk 8 miles each way in the rain to get a GED, then when you finally get back home, you probably don't have enough food to eat? I've lived in conditions not much better than that, so I can say from experience that unless someone w/vision, insight, determination, patience and, yes, money, comes in and is willing to take the time to teach and work right alongside these people, chances are that things will never change for them. Sad but true.

[Daisy and Delilah]

So true, Mary. You make some great points.

I think we are super spoiled and have no idea what it's like to have to struggle for aything. We get irritated if the tv cable goes out, irritated to walk to the refrigerator sometimes, irritated if we have to walk too far to get into a store, irritated if we have to wash our new car, irritated if we have to pay for something that we could be without all together, etc., etc.

We just don't know what things are like until we've walked in the shoes of other people.

[Marigold2]

Sorry guys but I beg to differ. I don't understand these people and frankly have very little pity for their self-made problems.
Does my family know suffering oh yes, oh yes we do? Especially my mom who went to concentation camp at 17. She had 10 brothers and sisters and no one lived but her. Talk about suffering. What did we do on our 18th birthday? Hopefully not watch our family suffer and die as my mom did. Both my parents entire families were in the war. My dad's house was bombed in the middle of the night, they lived in a barn for a while in the middle of winter and considered themselves lucky.
My parents wanted something better for the kids, so did my grandparents.
Yes my dad's parent's, and three aunts all lived in one house when they came over from Germany but all learned to read and write English, all worked outside of the home, no one took public assistance. All four bought their own homes and had their own families.
No one stopped speaking German, we just added English. No one lost the tradions or respect of the old courtry.
And it wasn't just my family it was millions of immigrants from all corners of the world, who left everything they knew and loved. They had to change, learn a new tongue, new skills, street signs, food, culture, tradions and they did all after watching their families being killed. They just did it.
And they always wanted better for their kids, always prayed and hoped and pushed their kids to do better, live better, be happy, learn, grow, go to school for most never had a chance with the war bombing their homes and schools.
Walking 8 miles to get a GED try walking 8 miles in a city blown to peices and burning, no food no water and the stench of the dead everywhere. That is WW11 was. If you don't believe me ask some man who served overseas in that time.
If these people loved their kids, they would want their lives to be better then their own. they would encourage their children to get an education and not hold them back for their own selfess reasons. Whom amoung us does not want something better for their child? Whom amoung us does not want the respect of our child? This is 2009 not 1309. They might not have food but I bet they have TV for the most part and plenty of Camel Lights and drugs. Sorry no pity here. They are horrible mothers.
My family came from so much worst I understand the suffering of the innocent. These people brought much of this upon themselves and when they can stop being selfess and put their children first then maybe I will want to help them. And yes I know I sound like a B&^%%
but these children deserve better. It makes me angry to see a selfess mother bred likea dog and not care for her children, sorry to all the dogs in advance. I just want to shake some sense into these woman and ask them what the hell they think they are doing to their child.

[caseysmom]

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”
quote - Paulo Coelho

[K9soul]

Marigold, you must be one of those people who feel depression and despair are a person's choice and they just need to snap out of it. There's really nothing that can be said to people who feel that way. Of course people who have conquered all adversity and risen above to make a new life should be admired and are an inspiration. But do we really know what makes the difference between someone who is able to do that and someone who isn't? Is it an increased mental fortitude, increased support from some place? Every life is different, every mind different. Everyone's threshold is different. You seem convinced it's a matter of pure selfish and lazy versus people who want to help themselves. The world is not so very black and white. You seemed to like the quote 'God helps those who help themselves." What about "Judge not lest ye be judged?"

[Medusa]

Walking 8 miles to get a GED try walking 8 miles in a city blown to peices and burning, no food no water and the stench of the dead everywhere. That is WW11 was.

You're comparing apples to oranges here. Each generation has done what it needed to do to survive. Neither circumstance is desirable. The woman who walks 8 miles each way to get her GED deserves credit, someone to pat her on the back and say "Atta girl!". She needs encouragement so that she won't give up and stay in those conditions. She's at least trying, she's making an effort and, hopefully, once she gets her GED, she'll get a decent job so that she can improve her living conditions. She's trying to help herself and thus help her kids, as you say they must do and I don't disagree. If her kids see her placing such a high value on education that she's willing to brave the elements and make that long trip on foot each day, chances are that they'll value an education, too, and will follow in her footsteps to better their own lives. She is not a horrible mother; she's a mother who has no outside help, no examples to emulate, a mother who is trying her best. She isn't abandoning her children; she's setting an example for them. Yes, she smokes. Yes, she probably has a TV. Who would begrudge her those simple pleasures, regardless of our stand on smoking and the resultant health issues? I hope and pray that she doesn't lose hope, that she makes it and proves the naysayers wrong.