Real Signs:

· Sign on an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts
· Maternity Clothe Shop: We are open on Labor Day
· Non-smoking area: If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action
· On a Maternity Room Door: Push, Push, Push
· On a Front Door: Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog
· Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place
· Scientist's Door: Gone Fission
· Taxidermist Window: We really know our stuff
· Podiatrist's Window: Time wounds all heels
· Butcher's window: Let me meat your needs
· Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition
· Sign on Fence: Salesmen welcome Dog food is expensive
· Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment
· Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary We'll hear you coming
· Hotel: Help! We need inn - experienced people
· Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?
· Sign in an office: We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left
· Veterinarian's: Waiting Room: Be back in 5 minutes Sit! Stay!
· The Electric Company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
· Beauty Shop: Dye now!
· Garbage Truck: We've got what it takes to take what you've got
· Computer Store: Out for a quick byte
· Diner Window: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up
· Bowling Alley: Please be quiet We need to hear a pin drop
· Cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria--Socks can eat any place they want
· Music Library: Bach in a minuet
· Funeral Home: Drive carefully, we'll wait
· Gynecologist window: At your cervix
· Travel Agency: Please Go Away