60-year-old Calgary mother welcomes twins

[Catty1]

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/calgary/sto...s-culture.html

Culture significant consideration in case of 60-year-old mother: doctor
Last Updated: Friday, February 6, 2009 | 3:20 PM MT

CBC News

A Calgary doctor says Ranjit Hayer's decision to have twins at age 60 should be considered through the lens of South Asian cultures.

As CBC News first reported Thursday, Hayer is the Calgary woman who gave birth to twin boys this week after travelling to her native India for in vitro fertilization.

'This is a big relief because it's normalized their perspective. It's normalized their life.'— Dr. Harjot Kaur Singh

The case, especially Hayer's age, has raised ethical questions about how far to push the frontiers of medical science, social debate over how fair it is for children to have elderly parents, and resentment that the Canadian health-care system paid for Hayer's delivery and the treatment of her premature babies.

Dr. Harjot Kaur Singh, a family physician born in India, raised in Brooks, Alta., and educated at the University of Calgary, said she empathizes with Hayer because having a family and being a mother are highly valued in India and most other eastern cultures.

She explained that as a woman, not having a child would be seen as unfulfilling, and even as a tragedy.

"It would be abnormal to not have children, and so I think for them, this is a big relief because it's normalized their perspective. It's normalized their life," Singh said. "It's really given them some joy and happiness.

"Now, I'm not saying that this should medically have been done or not, but I'm looking at it from the viewpoint of the cultural perspective."

The Hayers' nephew, Tony Hayer, said family is a big part of their Punjabi culture and the couple, who lived by themselves, would visit often with relatives and their children.

"They would see the families and always felt left out," Tony Hayer told the Calgary Sun. "Out of a lot of relatives, they were the only ones married but without children."

Extended family support helps older parents

Dr. Amninder Shergill, a physician at the Northeast Calgary Women's Clinic, said becoming a mother at 60 carries too many medical risks.

Shergill, who grew up in India and studied medicine there, said most Indian women tend to have their children while they're still young.

"We have history of having lots of kids … but not with your first-time pregnancy at this late age with in vitro, no," she said.

As for concerns that Hayer and her husband will not live long enough to see their twins grow up, Singh points out it's common in eastern cultures to rely on a network of relatives.

"The extended family as a unit raises the child. Even we see now in India, where the grandparents will be in the village and they will be taking care and raising the kids, and the parents will be in the city earning an income," she said.

"I don't think there is a generational change. I think that perspective has always been there."

[Twisterdog]

I believe if you can afford to foot the bill for your children yourself, from birth through college, have as many as you want.

However, if you can't afford them, don't have them. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it's how I feel.

I had one child. I paid his way, I never took a penny of public assistance. No way on this earth I could have afford two children, let alone six or eight or twelve. I could feed one, so I had one. Common sense.

But my tax dollars go to support women who want to have six or ten children. They don't have to worry about who is feeding them all.

[Marigold2]

I feel the same way. If you can't afford a child don't have one, get yourself a pet rock.

I believe if you can afford to foot the bill for your children yourself, from birth through college, have as many as you want.

However, if you can't afford them, don't have them. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it's how I feel.

I had one child. I paid his way, I never took a penny of public assistance. No way on this earth I could have afford two children, let alone six or eight or twelve. I could feed one, so I had one. Common sense.

But my tax dollars go to support women who want to have six or ten children. They don't have to worry about who is feeding them all.

[RICHARD]

I feel the same way. If you can't afford a child don't have one, get yourself a pet rock.

Some people are as dumb as rocks, so that would be a perfect adoption.

[Laura's Babies]

I want to know what any woman is thinking having a baby at that age?

[pomtzu]

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should!!! She probably won't live long enough to see them grown up. A 10 year old with a 70 year old mother???

I had both my kids by the time I was 25, and sometimes it was a challenge to keep up with them. Can't even imagine what this woman's going to do with active kids!!!

[Medusa]

I became exhausted just reading about it.