To S,
There was a time that I thought you hung the moon. I would have done anything you asked of me and still you denied me the only thing I ever wanted from you. To grow old together. You were so horrible to me and I'll never get over it. You made me feel dirty, fat and ugly. You made me feel worthless. You used everything you could to point out that I just wasn't good enough.
Everytime I see pictures of her I get sick to my stomach. I know that they are succeeding in undoing the damages that you created. You used to tell me that she never wanted to sit with me because she didn't like me. You used to make me ask her for permission to do anything (go out for a walk, watch t.v. - anything). Like a sap, I took it. You made me feel so worthless. You failed me. You failed me as a Fiance and you failed me as a friend. You left her to rot in that apartment while you were using my money to air condition the place, after you had already moved downstairs with your new "insta-family." The poor dog only weighed 20 pounds when I got that email. I was the one who saved her and now every time I see her I think of you. I cry. I don't even like seeing the "happy tails" section about her because all I can think about was just how rotten you were to me.
All I ever wanted was a dog to call my own and you ruined even that for me. I feel like there is this big black "x" across my name. You may have ruined my chances for a future showdog and you ruined my credit.
Most of all, you ruined the thought of me ever having another man in my life. I don't want to hurt again like you hurt me. I can't let anyone in and it kills me. I want so much to finally have that "love of a lifetime" but I can't let anyone near me. A hug from a guy makes me retreat inwards and I get so depressed that I feel like I'll never be whole again. I wish you and me had never happened.





Reply With Quote









Bookmarks