Pet Food Help Line

DAYTON, OHIO- Iams pet food company's team of customer service representatives handle more than 300,000 inquiries a year from pet owners across the country. Although the majority of calls to the toll-free number are straightforward pet care and nutrition questions, some can be quite unconventional. Here are some of the team's favorite calls this year:

"My cat just came in from the garage and I was wondering... how many calories are in a mouse?"
-- cat owner, Omak, WA

"I have a neutered male cat. How old should he be before I can breed him?" - cat owner,
Colorado Springs, CO

"Does your dog food help with emancipation?" - dog owner, Lockport, NY

"What should I feed a borderline collie?" - puppy owner, Van Fleck, TX

"What size litter box do I need to keep my cat comfy?" - cat owner, Chicago, IL

"Is it normal for a dog to shed?" - dog owner, Miami, FL

"How can I keep my cat from stealing my husband's toothbrush?" - cat owner, Los Angeles, CA

"My cat passed a stool on the indoor rug and it's stuck in the vacuum cleaner. Any suggestions?"
- cat owner, Amarillo, TX

"How can I get the secret recipe for your Iams® Chunks dog food?" - Anchorage, AK

"How do I stop my cat from giving food to the dog?" - pet owner, Ephrata, WA

"Your food turned my dog into a stud. Now what do I do?" - dog owner, Flushing, NY

"Do you know how to toilet train a cat?" - cat owner, Ontario, Canada

"I have three cats. Is it true that Eukanuba® Cat Food makes the poop smell better?" - cat owner, Wentzville, MO

"Will chewing pop cans remove enamel from my puppy's teeth?" - puppy owner, Chico, CA

"Where can I get a six-toed cat?" - cat owner, El Paso, TX

"I really like your paw print logo. Does Iams have a tattoo?" - pet owner, North Tonawanda, NY

The Iams Company Manager of Customer Service says, "Although these questions make us smile, they're legitimate calls from concerned pet owners".
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Ten Catmmandments

1) I am the Lord of thy House.
2) Thou shalt have no other pets before Me.
3) Thou shalt never ignore Me.
4) I shall ignore Thou when I feel like it.
5) Thou shalt be grateful that I even give Thou the time of day.
6) Remember My food dish and keep it full.
7) Thou shalt spend most of Thy money on toys and gifts for Me.
8) Thou shalt always have Thy lap ready for Me to curl up in.
9) Thou shalt shower Me with love and attention upon demand.
10)Above all, Thou shalt do anything and everything it takes to keep me happy.
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More "Cat's Rules to Live By." See if some sound like your cat!

All Rules can be broken when you feel like it.
Be astonishingly mysterious.
When in doubt, chase something.
Ignore your mistakes.
Go absolutely berserk for no apparent reason.
If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do.
When in trouble, just purr and look cute.
Life is hard, and then you nap.
Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them "I care."
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Sunday School Lessons

The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the preschool teacher in our Kentucky church decided to get her small pupils involved by playing a game in which they identified animals.

"I'm going to describe something to you. Let's see if you can guess what it is. First: I'm furry with a bushy tail and I like to climb trees."

The children looked at her blankly.

"I also like to eat nuts, especially acorns."

No response. This wasn't going well at all!

"I'm usually brown or gray, but sometimes I can be black or red."

Desperate, the teacher turned to a perky four-year-old who was usually good about coming up with the answers. "Michelle, what do you think?"

Michelle looked hesitantly at her classmates and replied, "Well, I know the answer has to be Jesus - but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me!"