Okay, need reminders about internet dating...

[catnapper]

I learned to look at online dating as a menu. Try out different things than you'd normally go for..... you like musicians? Stay away from them and go for the sporty type. I found that a LOT of people who did that end up with the right one because all along they were chasing the wrong type!

I also see that if things get too cozy online too fast, its a warning sign. I met someone (before I met hubby of course ) who was WONDERFUL. He wrote me poetry, was romantic, and sensitive. Oh, I was in love before we met. Then we met.... this grubby looking mamma's boy showed up. Talk about disappointment.

One guy spent a lot of time telling me how smart he was, but also challenged me intellectually. When we met, he spent the whole lunch telling me what was wrong with my work's website and how wonderful HE was at fixing websites.

Another guy wanted to meet at a dog park. So I dragged my sister in law along. THANK GOD I did because he was "nice" but it was nicer to have another person with us. By the time I got to the dog park guy, I'd gotten really good at reading between the lines of what they say. Hubby was genuine and true in everything he said. I could tell he was.


Oh, and there are instances where a handsome guy is truly unaware that he is. Those are a rare breed!

[Catty1]

Thanks, everyone! LOL Mary, I had to laugh...he's off to the UK for a week on business, and said, 'Why don't we stop in and see you on our way back?'

OK, he hasn't seen a map lately...I told him that West Va was as far east in the USA as Alberta was west in Canada.

"Oh," he said. LOL But that's ok, not many folks in the USA know the layout of Canada - and I had to Google a map to find out exactly where West Virginia was!

Is it possible that an engineer doesn't have much online experience? I'll have to ask him - he must use computers, but more for technical stuff and documents. Who knows?

If he/and his daughter come up for a visit, I sure will suggest a hotel! And my address is unlisted in the phone directory.

[Medusa]

Thanks, everyone! LOL Mary, I had to laugh...he's off to the UK for a week on business, and said, 'Why don't we stop in and see you on our way back?'

OK, he hasn't seen a map lately...I told him that West Va was as far east in the USA as Alberta was west in Canada.

"Oh," he said. LOL But that's ok, not many folks in the USA know the layout of Canada - and I had to Google a map to find out exactly where West Virginia was!

Is it possible that an engineer doesn't have much online experience? I'll have to ask him - he must use computers, but more for technical stuff and documents. Who knows?

If he/and his daughter come up for a visit, I sure will suggest a hotel! And my address is unlisted in the phone directory.

Wow, he wants to visit already, huh? How long have you been chatting?

[sparks19]

It's tough when they live far away as far as meetings go. If he wants to come and see you then I say go for it as long as you are comfortable.

but if he is REALLY pushing the issue then I would say that is a warning sign.

of course a hotel will be in order when he comes to visit and when you meet do it in a public place. Like meet for dinner.

I think timeline depends on your comfort level. I know Brian and I had a pretty fast timeline lol. We talked online and on the phone (A LOT) for two months. he drove up to Canada to see me July 4th weekend and then came up a couple more times and we were married by the next august lol.

Just trust your gut instincts. if you feel uneasy with something don't ignore it.

[Scooter's Mom]

I met my husband online in March 1998. We met in person in July, and I moved here in January 1999. He lived here in Phoenix and I was in Houston.

I've been incredibly lucky. I met my ex-husband in a Houston area chat room in 1990! One of my oldest friends, we met in another little Houston area chat room (BBS) in the 1980's... we were about 12. We lived all the way across Houston (an hour) from each other and for my 13th birthday he had his dad deliver a stuffed Ziggy to me. We're still friends to this day.

My best advice? Trust your gut instinct. If something feels weird or off - RUN. I've had a couple of situations where I did, and I don't regret doing it for an instant.

[Medusa]

So far, Candace, all of us have said to trust your instincts. That's why we have them and if we listen and follow them, they usually steer us away from trouble.

[Catty1]

Thanks again. Mary, he hasn't insisted on meeting...he just seemed to think that where I am was 'on the way back' to Va from the UK. Nope, kind of a long scenic route to do that!

Nothing feels really "off" yet...a couple of minor things which could be anything. I am not being unduly flattered, or bragged to. Which is good.

So we shall see. I think an in-person meeting will have to happen at some point and will really help.

On the other hand - some people, even on the Net, are what they say they are.