A good friend of mine met her boyfriend through online dating and they've been together a year now, so it's possible to find a steady, solid relationship through online dating sites. My advice is to trust your instincts, Candace. Self esteem issues aside, if it feels as though he's trying to "buy your face" as a friend of mine used to say, then he probably is. I'm not saying that's the case w/this guy because you're an attractive woman and a man should be able to say so w/out coming under suspicion. After all, photos are part of the attraction process w/internet dating.

I'd also be leery of someone who lives at quite a distance. Sometimes, not always, they like to have an online relationship because it's safe in their eyes and they have no intention of ever meeting. For ex: I "met" a man on one of the dating sites in 2000 and we've been online friends ever since. However, occasionally he'll say things like "You and I were meant to be together. It's cruel that we live so far apart. If you were here now, we'd be riding my Harley and doing the things we love. I know you're the one for me." I'd finally had enough of it and called his bluff and wrote "You take vacations every year, you ride your Harley farther distances than to OH, so I'm inviting you to come here and meet me. Let's see if there's anything to this." I knew in my heart that he was just saying what he thought I wanted to hear and when I issued this invitation, he stammered and stuttered and, of course, it's 2009 and we've never actually met. Of course, had he taken me up on my offer, I would've been in an awkward position but I would've gone through w/it, although I wouldn't have let him know where I live. He would've had to stay in a hotel, etc.

It can be exciting and flattering but, how shall I say this, some men think that because we're women of a "certain age" that we're anxious to find a man and will easily comply w/their wishes. In my opinion, the same rules apply to internet dating as in-person dating: make 'em work for it. They'll appreciate and respect you that much more for it and you'll come to trust them in the process. Have fun w/it, Candace. You deserve it.