Calling all moms! Did/do you co-sleep?

[BitsyNaceyDog]

Co-sleep, no never. It is a parents job to teach the child how to grow and learn to take care of themselves, hence birds pushing their babes out of the nest. We teach or children how to speak, read, eat, poop, walk, pay for college and a million and one skills inbetween, why so they can take care of themselves, that is our job. Co-sleeping is more for the parent's comfort then the childs. It's so lovely to hold them while they are sleeping however for the child to learn to be independent and self-sufficient they need their own space, their own room and time with the most important person in their lives, themselves.

A lot of co-sleeping advocates will tell you the exact opposite is true. I'll be the first one to tell you that I believe that each child and each family is different and it's important for each family to do what is right for their family. For us that's co-sleeping, for others it's not.

[pomtzu]

It's my feeling, whether the child is 1 week, 1 month, or 1 year - that they need their own space. I've seen children that have slept with their parents, and then when the parents decide it's time to end it, they have a screaming monster on their hands that actually CAN'T sleep by themselves. To me, the parents are just asking for a clingy child that can't function if they're out of sight of one or both parents, and it's reinforcing the child's need for the parents to physically be there in order to sleep.
I'm not saying that ALL children are this way, but I've seen way too many that are. I believe in doing what works for you, but if a new mother was asking my advice/opinion on the issue, I have to urge her not to do it - for the above reasons.

[Grace]

I didn't, and I wouldn't - ever.

In 2007 44 infants died while sleeping with parents, other children or a pet. There was at least one in this state.

[shepgirl]

Nope, never did and never would. Guess I'm from the old school too. I'm a light sleeper and get totally exhausted so I need my space. I too have witnessed children who absolutely refuse to sleep in their own beds after sleeping with the parents. I have a doctor who is absolutely against this also and when my kids were small our other doctor was against it also.
Call me selfish but when I go to bed I want and need my space.

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

We did not, of course because
our kids were both adopted.
Our eldest one, our son JO, had never before seen a bed in his entire life! In Korea everybody sleeps on the ground, on a carpet. He was terrified of his bed with bars! The only way I could make him fall asleep, was by lying on the mat together with him! It took us 3 weeks to make him accept his own bed
Our daughter didn't have any problems at all; at the orphinage she was used to sleep in beds with bars.

[sumbirdy]

Nathan started off in his own bed for the first year. Then he was forced (not by us) for 3 weeks to live with his abusive "mother" who shut him up in a dark room and let him cry himself to sleep. When he came back he had a lot of emotional problems and always wanted me in sight (since he wasn't allowed to see me for those 3 weeks) so I slept next to him. And have been doing it ever since. Wouldn't have it any other way. The way I see it is, when he's 16 he's not still going to be climbing in bed with me. lol. I co-slept with my parents and I am very independent now. It works more for some people than it does others.

[Edwina's Secretary]

I have a friend who let her son co-sleep. He is 13 and still does not like to sleep alone. He complained that they had each other so they got him a dog.

Now all four of them sleep in the one bed.

Fortunately they are small people.

[BitsyNaceyDog]

I didn't, and I wouldn't - ever.

In 2007 44 infants died while sleeping with parents, other children or a pet. There was at least one in this state.

How many died sleeping alone in their cribs? Research has shown that co-sleeping actually reduces the risk of SIDS. The biggest cause of SIDS is not suffocation or choking as many assume. SIDS is mostly caused by long pauses in the babies breathing while they are asleep. Research has shown that co-sleeping babies most often breath in harmony with their mothers which reduces the pauses in their breathing and reduces the risk of SIDS.

Co-sleeping does need to be done safely. You don't put your newborn in a crib with a pillow and blanket, nor should you put your newborn in a co-sleeping environment with a pillow and blanket. We also have bedrails on our bed. You need to make sure the mattress fits sung against the headboard, just the same as you would make sure the mattress fits snug against the sides of the crib.

It had surprised me how controversial this issue is...people on one side say that co-sleeping is the only way to have a happy and secure child, and the other side say that if you co-sleep your child will never be independent. Personally, I can't see either side...I am somewhere in the middle (as usual ) I think it's up to each individual child. I know that in many cultures, it is odd to consider a baby having their own room.

Isn't that the truth! Like I've already said, I've very pro co-sleeping, but I do understand and respect that it isn't for every family or every child. I do feel that it deserves the same research, consideration, and thought that new parents put into other issues like vaccinations, circumcision, breast feeding, etc.

[Grace]

How many died sleeping alone in their cribs? Research has shown that co-sleeping actually reduces the risk of SIDS. The biggest cause of SIDS is not suffocation or choking as many assume. SIDS is mostly caused by long pauses in the babies breathing while they are asleep. Research has shown that co-sleeping babies most often breath in harmony with their mothers which reduces the pauses in their breathing and reduces the risk of SIDS.

The initial query was about co-sleeping, not SIDS. Comparing the two would be like comparing apples and oranges. The deaths I mentioned were caused by suffocation - when a parent rolled over on the child for instance. When the death was investigated, a positive cause was determined.

In an average year, approximately 2300 infants die from SIDS. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is defined as the sudden death of an infant less than one year of age that cannot be explained after a thorough investigation is conducted, including a complete autopsy, examination of the death scene, and review of the clinical history.

[k9krazee]

The initial query was about co-sleeping, not SIDS. Comparing the two would be like comparing apples and oranges.

I think co-sleeping and SIDS are directly related. Studies have shown that children who co-sleep rarely suffer from SIDS. We're not 100% sure why, but it has been shown. And the amount of people that roll over on their children? How often do you think that actually happens? Sure, if the parent was completely intoxicated or something. I know you posted some stats that showed that kids did die from suffocation or from parents rolling over, but there are many factors to consider. Like KBlaix said, certain precautions need to be in place before and if you're stupid about it something could happen. If you have a baby sleeping next to you, I'm sure you'd still be conciously aware of that child throughout the night even though you don't think you would. Just my 2 cents.

[Cookiebaker]

I think co-sleeping and SIDS are directly related. Studies have shown that children who co-sleep rarely suffer from SIDS. .

YES! When I was pregnant I did some research on SIDS because my in-laws lost their oldest to SIDS when he was 6 months old. Anyway, I found some research (I'm sorry I can't remember what foundation or scientist did the study because its been a couple of years). What they did was studied the breathing patterns of mothers and babies who were in separate rooms, and in the same room. And what they found was that babies who are in the same room (bassinette next to her bed), their breathing synchronized, and the baby's sleep patterns mirrored the mothers. And it explains why, very often the baby wakes to eat when the mother slips into a lighter sleep. I hope what I am trying to say makes sense.

I am kind of surprised at how many nay-sayers there are to co-sleeping. Yes, its important to teach them to be independant but I question the need for independance by the ripe old age of two?

I was severely criticized by a close family member after Lydia was born because I held her alot. They told me that I was 'spoiling' her. Further, I held her to sleep every night and every nap time. The fact is, I have not raised a clingy needy child. She is a very well-rounded child, goes happily to other people and I can leave her with babysitters and she doesn't even cry. I personally think that when you leave a child to cry themselves to sleep in the dark, your child is much more likely to suffer from anxiety and separation difficulities. but when you make them feel secure, they are secure all the way around.

That said I am certainly not an expert, and learning right along with the next mother!