Barney is an Angel Now.

[Emeraldgreen]

Lara,
I have also planned on lighting candles until Friday, with special prayers offered up in Eastern time zone, to help his passing.
This little guy continues to amaze me. I cannot read this thread anymore with out getting all choked up over him, and he's not even my kitty. Prayers to you and Barney throughout the week as well. I cannot get over the impact that he has had on every one of us. Amidst all of the sadness and letting go, the unity, hope and love that he has brought us is a beautiful thing indeed.
You will not be alone on Friday.....we'll be with you in spirit.
Mary

Thanks Mary. I really feel like I will be walking into that room with dozens of people! At least in spirit and that is just as powerful if you ask me. I'm grateful for the support. I'm so glad you too will be lighting a candle.

Jenn_Librarian wrote:

I just realized you'll be putting Barney to sleep on my birthday. It makes me sad, but I know it's his day, and all the candles on my cake will definitely light the way for him, lol. It's silly to be thinking of myself, how it's sad it's on my day, but I can share that with him, and will so gladly. He's grown to be such a part of my heart, across the miles, that I don't know that I'll ever forget about him ever.

I'll be thinking of Barney on Friday at about 5:15, and will have my candles ready and waiting, and I won't be blowing them out.

Love you Barn Barn, I wish we could have met. I wish you would have been able to get better and we all could have met you on a summer day full of sunshine and butterflies and a picnic or something that maybe we crazy Barney lovers could have pulled together. Just because.

I wish you would have gotten healthy enough because I really wanted to come and get you this summer and add you to my crew. I really thought of that a lot, and Lara knows if you had been healthy enough, I would have found a way to get to you and, if the trip would have been safe enough, I would have brought you back to PA with me (if Lara would have relinquished you at that point, lol).

I'll miss you, sweet Barney Frog. I'll miss the videos and the grumpy faces you made at the camera. I know you've gotten more love than you've probably ever received in your lifetime, but know that we all just wanted to see a miracle happen, and wanted you to get better. You're our Barney. You're in all of our hearts now, and it hurts to think of letting go.

I'm sorry that his day will be on your birthday. But, it's my belief that once we pass over, we can see our loved ones down here on earth and if that's true, Barney will see you, on your birthday and he will know that the wonderful parcel you put together for him was from you and that you had offered to come and get him before it was realized that his illness was terminal and moving him didn't make much sense. He will know how many wonderful people from PT stepped up to help him and check in on him and pray for him. I'm just so happy that he will finally know because it is the most amazing thing. So please don't be sad on your birthday, know that he will be filled with love and looking down on you with that little froggy face of his, wishing you only the best as you always did for him.

Medusa wrote:

Well, try to look at it this way, Jennie: Jesus didn't command us to celebrate his birth, only to commemorate his death, emphasizing among other things, naturally, the importance of the transition from one life to the next. This will be a rebirth for our Barney. I think probably all of us at PT wanted to make him a member of our household; I know that I sure did. He'd make a wonderful member of our Fur Posse but he's right where he's meant to be, fulfilling his purpose. So many of us don't know our purpose in life and yet Barney lives his every day and he struggled against all odds to do it. All the days of cold, starvation, cruelty, illness and misery were erased w/one swoop of Lara's loving arms when she took him into her care and the outpour of love from the world over that he has caused transcends all belief, religion, race and color. He has united us all in love; that is his purpose and he's fulfilled it well and w/dignity. My hope is that I can learn from his example and fulfill my purpose in the same manner, that I can experience a similar symbolic rebirth, that we all can.

The instant that Barney takes his last breath there will be more kittens entering our world who, unfortunately, may experience the same conditions that Barney did but due to his brief sojourn into our lives, we all will have been changed and ever more alert to the suffering of cats and animals everywhere and will give them comfort in the way that Lara has done. I am humbled by this saga and although I would never want Barney or any animal to suffer, I feel privileged to have been a small part of it.

I too look at his upcoming passing as a rebirth. I will be relieved when he doesn't have to put up with cancer and discomfort anymore. I love the thought that he had a purpose, a mission and that he fulfilled it. He did create love, even though it seemed that he was the one that needed it the most, he ended up creating more and more of it. It is really special and I feel blessed to have known him. I'm sure he would have been in Heaven on earth with you and the fur posse though! lol But perhaps it's as you said, he may be where he is supposed to be.

Shepgirl wrote:

I think Medussa summed this up the best and I feel exactly the same way. Medussa you always seem to know the right answers.
I guess it's a part of pet ownership all of us have trouble dealing with but we have to do what's best for our friends.

I agree, she writes wonderfully!

Randi wrote:

Thank you for updating us, Lara. I'm glad to hear that Barney still wants to eat and talk to you when you visit him, and don't appear to be in pain.
I'm also glad that you have made the decision, because I agree he doesn't have a quality life, and it will get worse. None of us want him to go through more suffering.

Oh, I so wish he could have come to you a year or two ago, while he may have been in a condition to save, but at least he has had so much love and care in the past few months, and will have, until the end.

Barney is in my thoughts and I will light candles for him every day. And Lara, my thoughts are with you also. We're all thankful for all the help you have given him. Few others would have been so dedicated.

Big hugs and lots of kisses to Barney. Will you stroke him gently along his whiskers for me? Fister loves that, and I bet Barney will too

I wish he had found me sooner so I could have offered him a better life for a longer time. Who knows, maybe the first half dozen years of his life were okay and it was only the most recent ones that were pretty tough. I'd like to think that because 14 years of this would be too much I think and so unfair. He does know how to use a litterbox so he was somebody's at some point.

I had a really weird thought the other day actually. There was a man in his 30's who died here from a dirt bike accident about a year ago. It was tragic and he left behind a beagle that ended up at his mother's house which is a few blocks from me. This beagle was very attached to him and sadly, 4 months after the man died, his mother witnessed the beagle being attacked and killed by wolves in her yard. I was so sad to hear this but was also thinking that now the two of them would be reunited in Heaven. Now I'm wondering if little Barney might have belonged to this guy and maybe he was brought to his mother's house along with the beagle. Barney may have wandered off and her house is very close to the property that Barney started hanging around about a year ago, the time this fellow died. Prior to a year ago, Terri, my coworker who has lived at her house for 2.5 half years, said she hadn't seen Barney before.
The other thing is that Barney's eyes absolutely light up whenever he sees Scott. It's as if he 'knows' Scott. And maybe it's because his previous owner was a man. It's just a theory but if it's true, he will find his previous pawpie when he passes on Friday. I have talked with this man's girlfriend on a few occasions and I'm going to ask her if he ever had a black and white cat.

p.s. I'd love to stroke Barney's whiskers for you as you do Fister but he would definitely attack me. He lets me stroke him under his chin and on top of his head though, so that will have to do. lol

MoonandBean wrote:

I'm just so grateful that Barney's last few months were spent loved, warm, fed and safe. You truly gave him a great gift. I'm sorry you have to go through this again. As always, you do what is best for the animal and I thank you for ALL you've done for him

Thanks Deb and thanks to you and so many PT'rs assistance, I was able to help him.

MBones wrote:

Beautifully said. You both expressed very eloquently the essence of Barney and his mission here on earth.
Lara, please give him some scritches under his chin for me and some kisses too.
Love you, Barn Barn.
LES again.
Mary

I sure will!

Wolflady wrote:

I know a lot of you may not remember me as I have been away from PT for a long long time, but I check in here from time to time and I saw this thread yesterday and began to read...and read. Hours went by yesterday as I read each post and got caught up in Barney's story. I just have to say bless all of you who have helped this little cat have a "happy ending". I don't think I will ever cease to be amazed by the generousity and big hearts of the members here at Pet Talk. This is really an amazing group of people. I'm sorry Barney wasn't able to pull through, but I agree with what MoonandBean said in that Barney's last few months were spent loved, warm, fed and safe. This really is a great gift.
I'll be thinking of Barney on Friday and bless you Lara and Scott for all you have done.

Thank you for reading through all those pages! I agree whole heartedly this is an amazing group of people and feel blessed to have been a part of it.

Jenn_Librarian wrote:

I'm happy to share the day with Barney, if for no other reason than he'll be up there and my wish will be for him to be out of pain and free and happy again.

That is a wonderful wish. Since you only get one when you blow out your candles, it is very generous of you to give it to him.

Weluvcats wrote:

It continues to amaze me how this precious little man has brought all of us together. It is amazing how many of us continue to keep him and you on our minds.

I have believed for a long time now that God sends these precious creatures to be four-legged angels in our lives. I think we often believe that when one of these unfortunate animals crosses our path, we are helping to save them, and we are...But, I also believe that these angels are sent to us for our benefit, too. Several times over the course of my life, one of our cats (they have all been strays), has appeared, seemingly from nowhere, just when something difficult has or was about to befall me and/or my family. And every one of them has been such a blessing!

I believe that Barney is one of these angels. And when he leaves us here on earth, he will return to where he came from, and will enjoy comfort and peace at The Rainbow Bridge. Thank you Lara for giving him the love and protection that he so deserves.
Judy

I agree, I think Barney has given more to me than I have to him. I'm certain of it. And he is the reason that I finally got off my duff and have started this feral TNR group. I've scheduled the first meeting 2 days after his passing and I don't think it would have ever happened without him. His condition shocked me so much and made me realize the kind of life these abandoned or feral cats live. I know so many PT'rs have a good deal of experience with this and I have no clue what I'm doing but I've got some help coming from some experienced people and we'll try and make a go of it. Barney is truly an angel.

Slick wrote:

All of you have such a way with words that I could never express. I can only day Ditto!!!
I've also decided that reading this thread at work is not a good idea. Someone just came in and asked me why my face was wet....
I think for me what makes this even more heartwarming is the fact that you, Lara and Barney, are only a couple of ferry rides away from me. So close, yet so far away.{{{hugs}}}

That's right, not too far at all. Probably about 4 or 5 hours away? I used to live on the Sunshine Coast which was only a 40 minute ferry ride away from Vancouver!

Grace wrote:

Barney may be an angel of the 4-legged variety, but you, Lara, (and Scott) have been his angel.

As it is written in Matthew 25:40 -
And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Thanks Grace and thank you for posting that scripture from the Bible. It is wonderful and really made me happy.

Taz Zoee wrote:

The other day Taz was sitting as you described between sitting and laying down. I stood there and looked at him for a minute and was just thinking of Barney.

Little things like that will always remind me of "our" Barney Boy.

I still can't get over the neat idea that people all over think about this little cat from time to time. I wish he could know and by Friday afternoon he will.

Kb2Yjx wrote:

You all are one bunch of great people!!! I was touched by each of your posts!! Friday, I will be home cooking for our amateur radio club dinner that evening. I will light a candle and put it on the stove(it will be safe there from the Clan), and while I cook, I can say some prayers for Barney , Lara, and Scott. I will put the other candle outside on the front porch before Barry and I leave to bring the food and set up for the dinner. In spirit, we all will be together. Lara, I really hope you will feel all the vibrations from all of us, one BIG hug to wrap around you as you hold Barney, when he leaves for the Bridge...Sandra

I feel the same way! I love to read all the posts of everyone and look forward to seeing what people are saying, thinking and sharing.
Thank you for lighting the candles for Barney. I feel sure that I will feel everybody's thoughts on Friday. When I hug Barney for the last time, you all will be hugging him.

Catty1 wrote:

Lara - what's our Barn up to these days? How's he been?

Well, he's not doing so great today. I don't know if it's the lack of insulin or just the cancer. He isn't that keen on his food today. He'll take a few bites but is not nearly as eager as he has been recently. The other thing I noticed yesterday is that the tumor is really progressing. It is spreading and moving up his ear and in front of it now. It's bumpy and ugly. I hate cancer!! I've lost too many people to it and pets too. I stopped his prednisilone about 4 or 5 days ago because combining it with Metacam was upsetting his stomach as I was told it would. He had runny poop for a few days. So I took him off the pred and now he just gets the pain meds but I think the lack of steroids is one of the reasons the tumor is spreading so quickly.
Part of me wants to bring him in tomorrow but it's all been arranged and I have to work tomorrow at 1:00 and I've already arranged to have someone work my shift on Friday so I think I will leave the date. Plus, everyone has their candles all lined up! In the meantime, I will give him extra metacam to make him more comfortable.

Purr_Tender wrote:

I found a wonderful site where I lit a candle for Barney and Lara. It will stay lit for 48 hours. So it will stay lit until Friday around 7:30 pm EST. Here is a link to it. http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng

You can all be a part of this. It will be the candle for BarnB with my initials MBD. Go to "search" either put in my initials or Group search BarnB.

This is amazing! Thank you for posting that and for lighting a candle for Barney. I went onto the site and lit one too. I read everybody's messages and think it is so thoughtful. I got all teared up when I read the one from EM from Ohio who wrote "please say hi to our Emma when you get there". It was so sad and sweet. Is that you?

And thank you to everyone who lit a candle. I really appreciate it and I know your prayers are helping him.

Thank you Amy (3catcondo) who called in a donation to the clinic yesterday. It is not necessary but so very thoughtful of you. It will be combined with the leftover funds from all the wonderful previous donations of other PT'rs and I am more than happy to take care of the rest. It is the least I can do for my friend, and my angel, sweet Barney.

[weluvcats]

is a wonderful thing. If I lived in your area, I'd be right there with you. We could use something like that in my area as well. I wish I could get my hands on the people who undoubtedly abandon these animals!! My husband and I have been married for almost 26 years, and over the years 10 cats have wandered into our lives. We have found homes for three of them, and the rest we kept. The only options were to surrender them to our animal shelter, which usually has a waiting list of about six months before they can take them or, and this is a completely unacceptable option, hand them over to the police's animal control, where if they aren't claimed in five days (and they never are), they are euthanized. We are ex Air Force, so we have lived in several places/states, and these sweeties find us no matter where we are... My husband is convinced that our house must smell like catnip, or there is a sign visible only to cats that must say "Cat Hotel"!

Please let us know how your group goes. Good luck! I think I'm going to call our animal shelter and see if there is any interest in starting something like that here.

Also, and I know that I and the rest of us here at PT have said this to you before, but I'm going to say it again...God bless you and Scott for everything that you have done for Barney. Not everone would be as selfless, patient and loving as you have been with this sick, homeless angel. Many, if not all of us here at PT have likely been in a similar situation with a needy animal, so we can all appreciate the lengths that you have gone to for Barney. You truly have been Barney's angels...

I'm sorry Barney didn't have a good day... Bless his heart...The time really is approaching...In the meantime, I, along with the rest of us PT'ers, am going to keep praying and lighting candles, virtual and real, to help light Barney's way to the Bridge. Bless you all...
Judy

[Nomilynn]

I just sat and read through all 34 pages. I read the first few posts when this thread started, but then I didn't come back until tonight.

A long time ago someone on this site posted a really special story called "Choosing Tears" and I've kept it bookmarked all this time. Here is the link to the thread: http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthre...=chosing+tears As I read through about Barney I was really drawn to this story, because people who love like you, do it comletely and without thinking of yourself. Barney was blessed to have you for these last few months. Just think how wonderful it will be for him, to move on to the Bridge only remembering love and warmth, and most importantly without fear of where his next meal will come from or trying to find shelter. I truly believe that his memories will only be that of you, Scott and Angela, and what a blessing for him to have!

When I lost my Bassett I was so overwhelmed with grief. The words of my friends at PT really helped me and I hope you can take comfort in them. One post has always resignated in my mind. I remember it every time I look at a picture of Bassett, and I want to share it with you as well, because I think you will find comfort in it:

Naomi, I do not know you. I have never met you. But when you talk about Bassett and your love for her, your concern for her and your care for her - I realize I DO know you.

I have gotten to know you through all of the emotions you have shared over your deep concern for Bassett.

That is all that I needed to know about you here.........that you love this one cat so deeply that you would do anything - almost anything to help her and save her.....made me care for you, a total stranger more than you could ever imagine.

I treasure you, and wish that there were thousands more like you, who understand what a great gift an animal can be in your life.

It was such a simple little circle.......you hugging Bassett, and all of us have joined your circle with so much love and care. We adopted you and now take great joy in your success in caring for Bassett.

And now, our circle is quite large........a community who cares, shares, grieves, and shouts to the roof tops in great joy
when we hear of Bassett's daily progress.

Thank you for being who you are and allowing us to share in this special moment in your life.

These words were written by gini, and I have always treasured them. Now, they make me think of you and Barney.

Thank you for caring for him and loving him.

Naomi

[pomtzu]

Another candle lit in the BarnB group.

[Randi]

I'm in tears that Barney has to go, but we all know that it is the right time for him. He made a huge impact on us all, and he got to know love and comfort in his last time here.

Lara, I'm sure he must have been someone's cat before, and probably wandered off in recent years, so I'm going to believe he's been happy most of his life.

More kisses to Barney - and hugs to you and Scott.

I too lit a candle for you Barney, there are now 17, and I'm sure there will be more.

Have a safe journey, dear sweet Barney, you will be missed so much, but never ever forgotten.

Lara, it is 2.30pm BC time you have the appoinment, right? That will be 10.30pm GMT. I will have candles lit at home for sure.

[kb2yjx]

Just lit 3 candles on the candle site! That is a great site!!! THANK YOU!!! Prayers that Barney has a comfortable day....

[stinkysmom]

Please, what will the time be in the central time zone? I can't figure it out.

Another candle lit - SS

[jennielynn1970]

If anyone wants to read a kid's picture book about a little cat that passes away, it's an oldie but goodie that still brings me to tears. It's by Judith Voirst, and it's called "The Tenth Good Thing About Barney". A little boy loses his cat, Barney, and his mom and dad say that he has to find 10 good things to say about him.

It's a tearjerker of a little book, and makes all the little girls at school cry, lol. But it's so tender and sweet.

Just thought I'd mention it. It's also got our boy's name in the title. Can't be bad there.

[weluvcats]

I'm familiar with Judith Viorst's work, but didn't know about this one. Thanks so much for telling us about it...Even though it's a children's book, everyone can appreciate the wonderful story. And the fact that the cat's name in the book is Barney, is so sweet and just perfect. Thanks again...

P.S. Thanks for the link, too!
Judy

[momtomany]

I also lite a candle for our Barney and our Lara. Thank you both for blessing my life with your journey.

[weluvcats]

I lit another candle this evening for our sweet Barney, and Lara and Scott...My heart is heavy tonight as tomorrow is fast approaching...But even though tomorrow will bring sadness, it will also bring peace for Barney's angels, Lara and Scott, and most importantly for Barney himself. Soon he'll be busy joyfully chasing ladybugs and butterflies at the Rainbow Bridge with the rest of our own beloved angels that have left us over the years.

I just checked...40 candles and counting...
Judy

[Emeraldgreen]

is a wonderful thing. If I lived in your area, I'd be right there with you. We could use something like that in my area as well.

Please let us know how your group goes. Good luck! I think I'm going to call our animal shelter and see if there is any interest in starting something like that here.

Also, and I know that I and the rest of us here at PT have said this to you before, but I'm going to say it again...God bless you and Scott for everything that you have done for Barney. Not everone would be as selfless, patient and loving as you have been with this sick, homeless angel. Many, if not all of us here at PT have likely been in a similar situation with a needy animal, so we can all appreciate the lengths that you have gone to for Barney. You truly have been Barney's angels.

I'm sorry Barney didn't have a good day... Bless his heart...The time really is approaching...In the meantime, I, along with the rest of us PT'ers, am going to keep praying and lighting candles, virtual and real, to help light Barney's way to the Bridge. Bless you all...:love
Judy

That would be so great if you could get some help together for feral and/or abandoned cats in your area.

Thanks for the kind words about taking care of Barney. Someone else said something really similar a few pages back and I've looked for it but can't find it now. I meant to reply to it but somehow didn't. I feel certain that everyone who has posted in this thread, and everyone who has read this thread would do the same. And so many have. I could list them all but the post would be a mile long! But Jenluckenbach's rescues and Jenn_Librarian's and Purr_tender's Wilson, Katie's Splinter and Mary's Buddy and Ellie's Sherbie and rg_girlca's Minou. Oh my gosh I could just keep going and going. Everyone here is so giving and kind and I feel blessed that Barney crossed my path. But I know if he crossed any of yours, he'd be in YOUR bathroom, or even better, maybe your livingroom or bedroom!
Anyway, thanks for posting that because I really wanted to say that and have been thinking about it for awhile.

Nomilynn wrote:

I just sat and read through all 34 pages. I read the first few posts when this thread started, but then I didn't come back until tonight.

A long time ago someone on this site posted a really special story called "Choosing Tears" and I've kept it bookmarked all this time. Here is the link to the thread: http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthre...=chosing+tears As I read through about Barney I was really drawn to this story, because people who love like you, do it comletely and without thinking of yourself. Barney was blessed to have you for these last few months. Just think how wonderful it will be for him, to move on to the Bridge only remembering love and warmth, and most importantly without fear of where his next meal will come from or trying to find shelter. I truly believe that his memories will only be that of you, Scott and Angela, and what a blessing for him to have!

When I lost my Bassett I was so overwhelmed with grief. The words of my friends at PT really helped me and I hope you can take comfort in them. One post has always resignated in my mind. I remember it every time I look at a picture of Bassett, and I want to share it with you as well, because I think you will find comfort in it.
These words were written by gini, and I have always treasured them. Now, they make me think of you and Barney.

Thank you for caring for him and loving him.

Naomi

Thank you Naomi. I really appreciate that and the words that Gini wrote for you are so kind and caring. I'm so sorry you lost Bassett, it's so tough. The thought of there being a Rainbow Bridge pretty much keeps me going. There just has to be a Heaven and a place where will see them again. I'm sure of it.
I will have a look at the thread 'Choosing Tears' over the next couple of days. Thanks for sharing that link.

Pomtzu wrote:

Another candle lit in the BarnB group.

Thanks Ellie.

Randi wrote:

I'm in tears that Barney has to go, but we all know that it is the right time for him. He made a huge impact on us all, and he got to know love and comfort in his last time here.

Lara, I'm sure he must have been someone's cat before, and probably wandered off in recent years, so I'm going to believe he's been happy most of his life.

More kisses to Barney - and hugs to you and Scott.

I too lit a candle for you Barney, there are now 17, and I'm sure there will be more.

Have a safe journey, dear sweet Barney, you will be missed so much, but never ever forgotten.

Lara, it is 2.30pm BC time you have the appoinment, right? That will be 10.30pm GMT. I will have candles lit at home for sure.

Yes, that's right, I'll arrive around 2:30 but his appointment is 2:40 but I'm pretty sure they will be able to see us as soon as I get there. Thanks for lighting a candle for Barney and thanks for the hug!

kb2yjx wrote:

Just lit 3 candles on the candle site! That is a great site!!! THANK YOU!!! Prayers that Barney has a comfortable day....

Thanks for the candles and the prayers.

stinkymom wrote:

What time?
Please, what will the time be in the central time zone? I can't figure it out.

Another candle lit - SS

I'm a Stinky's mom too! I have a 7.5 year old tuxie girl named Stinky who goes by various nicknames of Stinkerbelle, Stinks, Stinker-roo, Stinkybink. She is very spoiled.
I'm sorry I don't know the time off hand regarding Central time but someone posted a link to time zones and I think someone posted an answer for you a few posts after yours.
Thank you for lighting a candle for our Barney Bear.

MBones wrote:

Lara, you will be. I wish I could be there with you to hold Barney and to give you a hug. I will definately be thinking of you both tomorrow afternoon.
I am so sorry that he is not doing well today. Perhaps this is his sign to you that it is his time? I believe that he knows that you are agonizing over this decision, so he is letting you know that this one last final act of kindness that he is requesting of you will be granted. I pray that he is comfortable and pain free so that your remaining time together is memorable.
Oh Lara, that is my candle that I lit for Barney. I wondered if I was being selfish to ask him to do so, but it brought such comfort to me to know that he would be with my beloved Emma, as well as all the other PT pets who await their loved one's reunion. It helps me to deal with his loss, as well with my Emma's, who I still miss. (I have added her pic to my album.) Thinking of you and Barney,
Mary

Yes, the not so good day he had and the 'just okay' day he had today is actually helping me be 100% certain about my decision. It is absolutely unbelievable how this cancer has spread since he's been off the pred. It's a situation that can only get worse so I know it's unfair to let it continue and that letting him go tomorrow will give him the peace he so deserves.
I'm so glad you mentioned your cat Emma in the candle message. The reason it brought tears to my eyes was because it made me remember that we all feel so much love with these wonderful animals and then we all have to go through such a tough time when we say goodbye. The wondering if they are happy where they are now and if they know how much we love them seemed so evident when you wrote that and it is how I feel about every cat I've lost. Thank you for writing that and I have asked Barney to look for Emma when he gets there. I know he is hard of hearing but some believe that animals think in 'pictures' and if you think exactly what you want to convey, but in pictures, rather than words, then they are supposed to pick up on it. I looked at Emma's picture in your album today and pictured her when I sent Barney the images. Not sure if it works but it sure doesn't hurt to try.
I've been trying to send Barney 'thought pictures' of him going with me for a car ride tomorrow and then curling up and having a very cozy sleep with no pain. And then I try and picture Rainbow Bridge so he can see it.

It's kind of weird because he's acting a bit different. When I walked into his room when I got home from work, I gave him some food. Then I went to get some paper towels to clean up the pee and when I came back in and knelt down to do the usual cleaning, he raced over and put his paw on my foot and just looked me in the eyes. He has never done that and it was really neat. I felt like he was trying to tell me something, or that he understood what was going to be happening with him tomorrow.

3catcondo wrote:

I lit a candle for BarnB. Lara, it was my pleasure to contribute some more to his medical expenses, and hopefully it will be put towards making his trip to the RB painfree and stressfree. I will also help contribute to his cremation if you will let me. Thanks again for all you have done! Prayers to you and Barney tomorrow around 5:30 my time.

Thank you for the candle Amy and for your donation. Please don't worry about contributing anything else. You've been so generous and I have appreciated it very much. I'm happy to take care of the remaining bill for Barney. Thank you again.

Pinot's Mom wrote:

candle #27

Peace and Godspeed Barney, and Peace to your family as well.

look for my babies Jamara & CK - They've been there a while, they'll show you around!

Thank you for the candle and well wishes. I will tell Barney to lookout for your Jamara and CK. Also Mary's Puddy and Candace's Pyka and my big Maine Coon Tiger and everyone else's beautiful pets that have crossed over.

Catty1 wrote:

When my dad had cancer, he got prednisone for the last couple of months. It reduced swelling, but pred really boosts the appetite. As Mom said, "He ate like he was going to live forever."

So Barney's great appetite was likely due to the prednisone...and the diabetes and the tumour took all the good nutrition away from our Barn!

I hope your day with Barney is as peaceful as possible. Barney even has a few toasts in the Thursdays cyber-bar in Dog House.

Is Scott going with you?

HUGS and one more kiss on that dear tuxie forehead. (More, if he'll let you! )

I'm sorry to hear about your dad Candace. I lost mine to cancer too. I hate this disease.
But you're right, the pred must have kicked his appetite into overdrive and now it is quite a bit less. But today he has had a better appetite which is good because it means he gets all his pain meds. I'm giving him 4 drops of metacam in the a.m. and 4 drops in the p.m. I was only supposed to give him 2 drops a day but at this point, he seems to be handling pretty well and I think it's helping him.
I'm so thankful that I don't have to give him the insulin shots anymore. He is such a skinny mini and it was hard to find enough of Barney to put the needle into. I think he is happy I'm not doing it anymore either.

Thanks for telling me about the Barney toasts going on in the Thursdays cyber bar in the Dog House. I've only looked on there one or two times before but I read all Barney toasts and thank you to all of you for thinking of Barney.

No, Scott will be saying his goodbye's to Barney here at the house and then Barns and I will make our way to the clinic.

I will certainly give Barney a forehead kiss for you. He lets me give him tons of those and he purrs when I do it and starts to do paddies with his paws. It's is the sweetest thing ever and always breaks my heart.

Mamaducky wrote:

Just visited Barney's candle page (he's up over 30 now), and am glad no one is nearby to see the tears. Lara, you know that hundreds of people will be with you and Barney in spirit and holding you up in prayer tomorrow; you've made everything as good for Barney as you possibly could, and now his life will have an ending with love and dignity and without pain.

I can't begin to tell you how proud I am to know you, even though we'll likely never actually meet -- you are a truly amazing person, and have been a blessing and an example to a lot of people (myself included) as you've gone about your work on behalf of Barney and feral cats. God bless you, sweetheart -- and Scott, too!
Much love,
Diana

I love how many candles are on that website. It reminds me of what Sandra PM'd me earlier. She said 'all the candles for Barney will outshine the sun!".
I really am going to stop and think about all you guys thinking about Barney and me while he crosses over. It means a great deal to me that so many people care enough to think of us and I just can't get over it.
Thank you for your caring words. I feel surrounded by people that you described in your post. It seems that everyone here is just that kind of person. Thank you for seeing that in me.

Maya and Inka's Mommy wrote:

forgot to write it here, but I lit a red candle for Barney all day! I hope he saw it, in this for him far away country Belgium

Thankyou for lighting a candle all the way from Belgium! Barney will see them far and wide tomorrow.

Purr_Tender wrote:

Mini Candle
I was checking Barney's candles and saw the link for the mini candle. If you go to the candle that you have lit, the mini link will be there. Click on it and you can minimize it and keep it burning in a corner of your screen while you are online. It feels good to see it. It is wonderful how many people this sweet boy has touched. We should all be so blessed.

Lara, I pray that Barney is having a better day today. Please give him a long, gentle hug from me. I love him dearly!!!
Huge bear hug for you!!!
Mary

I'm going to make my candle mini so I can continue to see it. Thanks for letting us know about that.
Barney is having a better day Mary. I'm so thankful for that. I'm still sure that it's time but at least he is eating normally again. His tumor is a mess though and he scratched it up pretty badly. The tumor has only been like this for a few days but it looks awful. I keep gently cleaning it up with a warm cloth and tonight I washed his paws to help keep the wound cleaner and to get him ready for tomorrow. He does NOT like it when I wash his feet but I use warm water and soap and try and do it as fast as I can. When I go to dry him with the towel, he attacks it. He still has such gusto considering everything.
Thanks for the hug for Barney and for me.

Slick wrote:

Candle #33 lit.

Thanks Slick.

Momtomany wrote:

I also lite a candle for our Barney and our Lara. Thank you both for blessing my life with your journey.

Thanks for that Julie.

weluvcats wrote:

Another candle lit...

I lit another candle this evening for our sweet Barney, and Lara and Scott...My heart is heavy tonight as tomorrow is fast approaching...But even though tomorrow will bring sadness, it will also bring peace for Barney's angels, Lara and Scott, and most importantly for Barney himself. Soon he'll be busy joyfully chasing ladybugs and butterflies at the Rainbow Bridge with the rest of our own beloved angels that have left us over the years.

I just checked...40 candles and counting...
Judy

Thank you Judy. My heart is also heavy. I need to go and spend some more time with our guy. I'm going to spend every single minute with him tomorrow as well.
I think you're right, tomorrow will bring peace for all of us. For me, it has been getting tough to watch him like this, knowing that I could bring him in at any second to end it. It's been weighing on me and I will find relief when that part of it is over. I will miss him with all my heart but I will be thankful that I won't have to see him be uncomfortable anymore.
I love the image of him chasing ladybugs and butterlies at the Bridge and will send those thought images to him when I go in to see him in a few minutes and hope that he sees them.
Wow, 40 candles. That is so amazing. Thank you everybody.

Cinder & Smoke wrote:

Here's a direct link to Barney's Group = BarnB
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/...l=eng&gi=BarnB

Find and *click* on an UNlighted candle - it will become Your Candle for Barney.
Follow the instructions that will appear beside your candle.
Safe Trip, Barney!
{{{HUGS}}} to You and Lara & Scott

Thank you for the direct link. I've fumbled around a few times looking for Barnb's group but always find it. This will save some time.
Thank you Phred for wishing Barney a safe trip tomorrow and for the hugs.

I will take a short video of Barney, either tonight or tomorrow and post it here. I took the sweetest video of him about 5 days ago that I've been saving for his Memorial post. It is my favourite video of him of all the ones I've taken and it just seemed right that it be the last one I post. So I will save that one for tomorrow night. But I will post a short one tomorrow before we go.
Thank you guys for everything. I'm just taking this one moment at a time and trying not to get overwhelmed. I know it's the right thing and just have to remember that.

[MBones]

I really feel like I will be walking into that room with dozens of people! At least in spirit and that is just as powerful if you ask me. I'm grateful for the support. I'm so glad you too will be lighting a candle.

Lara, you will be. I wish I could be there with you to hold Barney and to give you a hug. I will definately be thinking of you both tomorrow afternoon.

Well, he's not doing so great today. I don't know if it's the lack of insulin or just the cancer. He isn't that keen on his food today. He'll take a few bites but is not nearly as eager as he has been recently. The other thing I noticed yesterday is that the tumor is really progressing. It is spreading and moving up his ear and in front of it now. It's bumpy and ugly. I hate cancer!! I've lost too many people to it and pets too. I stopped his prednisilone about 4 or 5 days ago because combining it with Metacam was upsetting his stomach as I was told it would. He had runny poop for a few days. So I took him off the pred and now he just gets the pain meds but I think the lack of steroids is one of the reasons the tumor is spreading so quickly.

I am so sorry that he is not doing well today. Perhaps this is his sign to you that it is his time? I believe that he knows that you are agonizing over this decision, so he is letting you know that this one last final act of kindness that he is requesting of you will be granted. I pray that he is comfortable and pain free so that your remaining time together is memorable.

This is amazing! Thank you for posting that and for lighting a candle for Barney. I went onto the site and lit one too. I read everybody's messages and think it is so thoughtful. I got all teared up when I read the one from EM from Ohio who wrote "please say hi to our Emma when you get there". It was so sad and sweet. Is that you?

Oh Lara, that is my candle that I lit for Barney. I wondered if I was being selfish to ask him to do so, but it brought such comfort to me to know that he would be with my beloved Emma, as well as all the other PT pets who await their loved one's reunion. It helps me to deal with his loss, as well with my Emma's, who I still miss. (I have added her pic to my album.) Thinking of you and Barney,

Mary

[MBones]

CST will be 4:30 your time, as I am one time zone ahead of you.

Mary

[3Catcondo]

I lit a candle for BarnB. Lara, it was my pleasure to contribute some more to his medical expenses, and hopefully it will be put towards making his trip to the RB painfree and stressfree. I will also help contribute to his cremation if you will let me. Thanks again for all you have done! Prayers to you and Barney tomorrow around 5:30 my time.