Oh Katie, I feel your frustration!! I've had a bad problem here for the last 2 years. There's no doubt it is territorial. Like you, I tried just about everything. I finally moved the ones that I have actually caught in the act into a one room cottage out back. Right now I have 7 out there. I've had them there for a little over a year now, and they haven't been spraying out there. I hate not having them in here with me but they were destroying our home. Like you I was embarrassed to have any company. I still am because of the cat hair. It is a constant battle. I still find a couple of spots where someone is still spraying. But nothing like it was. You should never feel like a bad owner!! You are a wonderful, loving meowmie!! We can only take so much. I was talking to a lady last week and she was telling me about a cat she had that was just like your bad girl. She spent a lot of money taking her to vets to see if there was anything physically wrong. It was behaviorial. There were no other cats, either. She tried everything. She knew she couldn't rehome her and since she had her declawed she couldn't put her outside. Sadly, she had her pts. It broke her heart but her vet even recommended it. Personally, there is no way I could do that. Katie, I wish I could help you, I know it's just awful and it's very depressing. You vent all you want to. Been there, done that!

Big ole hug,
Mary