Is this Tacky of me>??

[Catty1]

You can also tell them to please not expect a gift from you this year...you would love to, but can't. Leave the "giving" up to them.

A lot of people are being hard hit by financial times these days, and your talking to them about this might be a huge relief for them! Maybe they need to scale back too, but are scared and embarrassed to do so.

The coupons ides is a great one - you could do really nice ones on your computer.

HUGS!

[jenluckenbach]

I scaled back gift giving YEARS ago!! But there are always those people who give to me anyway. While yes, I feel sad that I could not reciprocate, I understand that it is just who they are an it is THEIR choice.

My sister and oldest neice bake....and thank goodness for them or I would have no home baked things to eat.

My oldest brother hosts Christmas even dinner, but still insist on buying everyone something. (thankfully, it is never lavish) But still, I always feel so small showing up with nothing. So last year I searched the dollar stores and came up with a group of 3 things for each person. With careful selection, the gift did not look tacky. and I felt better being able to have something to give.

The only people I actual buy for are my 2 youngest neices (6 and 4 years old) and my dad, and I never put a limit (high or low) on what I spend, I just do what I can and each time is different.


For the 6 yo, I shop at thrift stores and can buy an entire shopping bag worth of clothes for the price of one "store-bought" outfit and her mom could not be happier. And for the 4 yo, well, she gets SOOOOOOOO much stuff, she never realizes that she only got one thing from me, and besides, my gift to her is my time. (she calls me her best friend)

I guess the bottom line is: Feel free to let people know you NEED to limit giving and then try not to feel guilty about it.

[Medusa]

When I was married, I had to start shopping for Xmas gifts early. My husband's family was large, mine wasn't, but I also had to shop for his employees (aside from their financial bonuses) and business associates plus our friends. So I became stressed out early. Don't let all this gift giving stress you out because you can't give the way you used to. That's such a killjoy.

I'd go w/the gift exchange idea. Draw names out of a bowl; it makes it so much easier on everyone, you won't know who drew your name so that makes it more exciting. When I was growing up, the family grew so much that there was no way we could keep up w/all the grandkids, nieces and nephews, so the gift exchange was the way to go. Plus we put a limit on how much to spend for the gift. If there are individuals that you feel you absolutely must give a gift to, then offer a service to them, such as pet sitting or cooking a meal for them, etc.

Above all, don't let guilt enter the picture. You have nothing to feel guilty about. That would definitely put a damper on things and is not in keeping w/the holiday spirit.

[Randi]

With such a large family, I think it's OK to say that you can't afford expensive presents.

My family and I have agreed to keep presents at a reasonable level.

When I spent Christmas in England with John's family, we also agreed to not overdo it. John's niece had made some chocolade truffles one year, which was a hit! Another year she made some other sweets. She made some very boxes for it too. Perhaps that's something you could try. I'll attach a picture of one box (we had already eaten one layer of the sweets), and paste the recipe of truffles here.


Ingredients:
100 g quality dark chocolade (or 50% milk)
50 g butter
2 egg yolks
6+ tablespoons icing sugar
flavouring (e.g. Grand Marnier, Tia Maria, Rum)
coatings (e.g. icing sugar, choc strands, cocoa powder)

Method:
Melt the chocolate in a bowl over a pan of boiling water. Cream together the butter, icing sugar, egg yolks and flavouring (if used). Add the melted chocolate and beat until mixed and a fairly firm consistency, adding more icing sugar if necessary. Put in a dish and leave to cool and set - I put mine in a shallow dish in the fridge for a few hours or overnight. Once set, form into balls and roll them in the coatings. This is the messy and time-consuming part of the process.
Enjoy!

[Twisterdog]

Wow, that is a crazy amount of presents and money spent, IMO. No way I could afford to do that once, let alone every year.

I would absolutely say something. It's not tacky, it's honest.

How about baking a few big batches of cookies to give as gifts? And I like Richard's idea of coupons. Make one for something each person really needs or wants - could be an few hours of babysitting, a home-cooked meal, pet-sitting, house-cleaning.

All spring and summer, I go to yard sales, with the sole intent of buying gifts for Christmas. I almost always have my Christmas shopping done by fall. And, because I'm not in a rush, I always seem to be able to find the perfect gift. Example: I got my nephew a huge plush blanket with his favorite Nascar driver on it. It still had the new price tag on it - $69. No way I could have afforded to buy that for him new. But I paid $2.

And, for me, I honestly do not want or need anything else. I really dread getting stuff from people who don't know me well or don't spend the time to really think about what they are buying. I have a house full of stuff and if I really want something, I go buy it. There comes a point in our lives where we just don't want or need anything.

[Freedom]

I would not send anything around formally, but, I would make it a point to tell each sibling something along the lines of, "hey, this year is a pretty tough one for us financially, and we are not in a position to exchange gifts this year, I hope you can understand". And leave it at that. No need for details, excuses, etc. They are your FAMILY. If they can't understand, frankly...they don't deserve a gift anyhow..he he he

I agree with this. It is not tacky, you are just setting some limits. You are entitled to set limits for yourself.

If someone -- or even EVERYONE -- decides to get you something, just be gracious and thank them. And ENJOY! Don't feel guilty, you said something in advance.