Is this Tacky of me>??

[kt_luvs_kitties]

Thanks guys. I guess I just cant feel bad. We do what we can, right?

Barbara, mostly the gifts are what they asked for... I am a terrible gift buyer, so I rather know what they want ahead of time. If not, I just buy house stuff (nice throws, candle sets, etc)

Personal stuff, NOPE!

I would rather get nothing, or something small like a cat figurine anyday. I also regift! From my side to his side, but I never remember who gave me what, so I am scared I will get caught, LOL! That shows that the stuff is just "stuff".

[Scooter's Mom]

Every year I tell the in-laws "please don't buy us anything" because I really don't have the $$ to spend on their large family for individual gifts. I would much rather have a nice day with family and no fighting or arguing than a gift. Memories last much longer than a physical object.

Each year, they give us something anyway and then I feel bad because I really meant no gifts! My hubby does NOT help me shop for anything and I don't want to single handedly pick something his family won't enjoy... although that's what usually happens.

I've started shopping for just the children. Not the grown children either, but the ones under a certain age, like under 18... or maybe if they're over 18 and don't have their own children, they may get something.

I certainly do not think it is tacky at all.

[pomtzu]

Absolutely not tacky at all. I can't imagine having even 18 people to buy for, and fortunately for me, it's just my brother, son and DIL, and 3 grandkids - and of course the poochies! Even so - it's more of a strain every year - retirement pay sucks and so does the economy.
Do what you have to - and please don't feel guilty about it. Christmas has become way too much of a commercial venture, and the true meaning seems to fade more every year. So sad!

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Not tacky at all!! I am sure that everybody will appreciate it a lot for your being so honest!!
Donating ornaments sounds super to me!!

[jennielynn1970]

I cannot imagine having to buy for that many people! Holy crow!! I have a hard enough time finding enough money for mom, dad, brother, sister in law and nephew, lol. I'm not good at budgeting, so that does hinder my efforts.

One thing I do is make things homemade, specifically baked goods. They take me a lot of time to do, and are really something that are from my heart. I try to find something that they really love, or remember from their childhood, and make them a batch of that. My brother is macaroons, my sister in law anything with peanut butter, mom and dad really don't care what it is, and nephew, I think he's the only one I bought for before he turned 18. It has been a tradition in our extended family that if the child is over 16, they get $$ instead of presents (although there were those favorite relative kids who got both... ).

Do what you feel works for you. Let the family members know what is going on as far as just not wanting to swap presents, but honestly they don't have to know all the extenuating circumstances, just that you don't to swap due to finances.

Our family isn't doing anything this year, and I'm fine with it. As long as we're together, we have dinner and enjoy the company, it's all good!

[chocolatepuppy]

Katie, years ago when hubby and I married, we bought for everyone, but very inexpensive gifts. As the years went by and more of us married and then came children, forget it! My family stopped. Hubby's family continued for years and every Christmas we had to go through the humiliation of being handed gifts and not giving any. Finally they started drawing names, we don't go along, they spend more than we can afford.
If you can't afford it, I say like others have mentioned, let it be known and hold your head up high and simply say thank you when given a gift. If others want to continue, so be it. To me Christmas is about so much more than just gifts.

[moosmom]

I buy plain picture frames and decorate them. It's something that comes from the heart and I enjoy doing it. It's actual relaxing to me. My friend Irene sells Avon at craft fairs. She also takes along frames that I've decorated to sell. So far I've made $25 which is paying for my Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I make the frames with "themes", golfing, fishing, holiday frames, baby frames, wedding frames. You name it, I can make it.

Next time I pump out a bunch frames, I'll remember to take pictures so you can see my work.

[catnapper]

Not tacky at all. Whats tacky is what my brother did. He decided not to buy any gifts for my kids yet expects them for his kids.... and made mom be the messenger. All he had to do was ask me if it was ok not ot buy my kids things since they are now in college.

Needless to say, mom is annoyed and offered to buy his kids' gifts and put my name on the packages.

[kuhio98]

I don't think it's tacky. We are in a similar situation this year and so is a lot of our family. The economy is just too iffy right now to go into debt for "stuff".

Our Christmas card this year goes something like this (haven't written it yet, so "something" like this).

.... We will not be exchanging gifts this year. We hope that you understand. Our only present to you is that we don't expect gifts either. Please don't spend your hard-earned money on "stuff" for us. Your time and love are enough for us.....

[cassiesmom]

I was thinking, if I sent out a Christmas card, and explained about our financial situation this year, and set a price limit on switching, would that be tacky?

I don't know that I would put it in writing. If I received a written explanation from a family member about their financial situation and asking for a price limit on my gift to them, that would make me really uneasy. You spend what you can afford on the people you want to give gifts to. They will spend what they want to on you. But verbally tell people you are planning to scale back. That would allow the person to talk with you about it, which a note wouldn't. My parents have had a ton of medical bills - my brother changed jobs - and my sister has had less free-lance work this year than in previous years. It's going to be a lean year. I'd rather have "gifts" of spending time with them, especially in their respective back yards, drinking iced tea, on warm summer Sunday afternoons.

About those veterinary bills. Ya need some help?

[RICHARD]

Here's another idea.

Host a BBQ or dinner with a theme.

Poker is big these days, get a date in mind and hold a poker party. Buy hot dogs, hamburgers and delegate people to cook, be card dealers and help you prepare.

With some thought and a plan you can have a party for your family that will be remembered as your 'gift' to them.

I long ago forgot a gift that someone bought for me.

But, I always remembered an day or evening where my family was gathered and we had fun.

[kitten645]

While I wouldn't classify it as tacky, I wouldn't impose a limit. I have a huge family as well and we are all in different economic situations. I'd just let every one know the "Andy situation" and leave it at that. I know I have family that take great joy in sharing their abundance. I'm a poor single working girl so everyone pretty much knows that it's all about the kids for me. I get my three nieces/nephew gifts. I do get some freebies at work and find some deals that I buy through out the year when something reminds me of someone when I see it.
My little sister (not so little..she's 31!) has been asking me questions about sewing. I made her a little sewing kit. I've offered to make her custom home decor if she foots for the materials.
I don't think it should be a $$ based gift. It's cliche but it's the thought that counts!
Claudia

PS: Goodness knows unless you are living under a rock..EVERYONE is scaling back. You can't go a day without it being screamed at you a million times!

[kt_luvs_kitties]

Thank you all for your opinions and advice.

I have a Christmas eve get together at my house every year, I make 2 Huge pots of chili (mild and EXTRA hot) and cookies, olive tray, etc... I would still like to do that.

I think I can cut down on numbers by doing couples presents.

I think I am just going to tell everyone tomorrow about the situation, and hope they "get" it. They know how I am, and I am always the person they call when they find a "stray"... They should understand.


I would love to make goodies for them, BUT I dont think they would appreciate Kitty Hair Brownies

Kim - hate to say it, but that IS tacky


AND Cassiesmom, thank you so much for the offer, but I think I can handle the rest of the bill ok.
I really appreciate the offer though

[Reachoutrescue]

I don't think it is tacky at all. This year, with all our vet bills, me not working since my accident at work, and having Austin's birthday on the 17th, I just can't do it either. I have decided to just buy for the children in our families. There are a total of 15 kids...that is a lot right there, plus my two...then the Santa gifts for my two. Then I want to buy for Dave....so I understand.

That is really nice of you to donate holiday decor to families....every little bit helps. Don't worry so much....you only can do what you can.

[sumbirdy]

I don't think it's tacky.

This year I can only buy for the children. When anyone else asks what I want, I say I don't want anything (which is the truth, I can't think of a single thing I'd like to have, exept maybe some socks and undies)

This year I just want some peace and happiness.

With the economy the way it is, it should be expected that people will have to cut back this year.