Guys, let's just remember that the more you rely on argumentative/confrontational/offensive wording, the less you will be listened to. Talk about shooting one's self in the foot!

Pekemom, the difference between breeding for showing and breeding for companionship is that there are, essentially, millions of companion-quality dogs being euthanized yearly in our country alone. Even though the problem may be nearly non-existent in your area, every drop affects the entire bucket. The reason some of us (I say SOME because many people on here are pro-working dogs and not necessarily pro-conformation) can agree with breeding for conformation/show ring is because breeding to a standard attempts to preserve the breed. By keeping a uniform type and temperament via the show ring, breeders can help preserve the breed as it was originally intentioned. However, when one breeds for companionship, one can totally disregard the breed type and the breed morphs. That's why we have Pekes like this:

When the original Peke should really resemble a heavier coated version of Chik T'sun of Caversham:

Comparing these two images, you can see how quickly breed type is lost and how quickly that "Pekingese" no longer resembles a "Pekingese". So, that's my little spiel on it. You sound like a very knowledgeable, responsible, and openminded person, so I trust you will make a good decision

Back to the BEHAVIORAL issues...
If a verbal "NO" is too much for your male, simply use your female's name. The dogs can tell the difference. You can try, "AY *female's name*!!" That way, the verbal reprimand is clearly directed towards the female.

I HIGHLY recommend NILIF in the meantime. Really do implement it and be strict for now. NILIF is not just about earning privileges. It is also learning self-control. Dog has to "Wait" before coming in from the yard. Dog has to "Wait" before it can exit the front door. Dog has to give you eye contact before it can eat dinner. etc. etc. It's a comprehensive method. Use NILIF with everything all the time!