A Letter from an Alcoholic

[Catty1]

Here's a new one someone just composed, disliking the first one that was posted on another forum. It's kind of cool. (But not official yet!)

To my family

There is no point in me telling you that I'm an alcoholic. It's an insult to your intelligence. Of course I am. I need to get off my sorry ass and do something about it.

I have no credibility with you, and expect none, at least until there's some long term action behind my words.

Feel free to do what is right for you regarding my behavior, You have a life. You deserve to live it without my interference or drama.

If you choses to put up with me, hold me to my promises and commitments. If I want to get well, I am perfectly capable of doing what I said I would.

If I exploit you or take advantage of you, we really can't blame it on my disease. Drunk or sober, I am responsible for my actions. You don't have to put up with it if you don't want to.

There is no point talking to me when I am drunk. Yell at me when I am sober.

Expect me to fulfill my responsibilities, like any grownup would. If I don't, natural consequences are a great motivator. Fixing it is usually a bad idea, even if I beg you to.

If you want to pour out my alcohol, do it. It may or may not have any effect on my behavior, but it may help you to feel better.

I'm just a common drunk who may or may not get better. I've damaged our relationship and wounded you and others. Even if I refuse to get help, you deserve to find whatever works for you to have peace and stability in your life.

Signed,

Me.

[CathyBogart]

*sigh* I know I have the potential to become and alcoholic, as it runs heavily in my family, and when I do drink I can easily see myself getting out of control with it.

So I'm cautious, and I use my dad as an example of what I never want to be. I grew up under his fists and he provided me with great motivation to control myself, but it's not easy.

My dad claims he's doing better now, and for a few months, I really believed him. He was going to AA, not drinking, taking antidepressants, and acting like a decent human being....all this after my mom finally threw him out of the house. Now he's drinking "just wine" again, which interferes with the antidepressants and turns him back into the same aggressive person I grew up with. My mom claims she won't let it get as bad as before, she'll throw him out again, but I don't see it happening, and it makes me sad.

Dad has been trying to reconcile things with me for the last few months, and on a few occasions I've come close to forgiving him some of what he's done....but he's starting to do it all over again, so for now, I give up.

[moosmom]

Good letter!!

[Marigold2]

Blessings to all of you. So much pain here and such courage as well.
My dad was a alcoholic also a Deputy Sheriff and later a police officer, strange combo and very confusing for a child. He busted many a drunk and scraped up many a dead body then went to the bar to drink, maybe to relieve the pain. I have been to several of our local cop bars, whole place is filled with nothing but police drinking, talking, bonding. They think they can drive drunk because they are professional.
I do want to say that all of you are very brave, strong and decent.
Being an alcoholic is very difficult and if you have stopped drinking you are a great example to all.

[shepgirl]

Catty 1 - I don't attend the AA meetings, I just know the people who run them as we meet at the same workplaces often....this is what they tell people who keep trying to help alcoholics..." It is their problem and don't make it yours or you are enabling them".

As for the medical books I've got my nose buried in them most of the day so I know what they say about alcohol and drug abuse, then there are the books on the other side of that fence....

[RedHedd]

Candace - thank you. I, too, am an alcoholic. My father, his father and his brother all died from alcoholism; I almost did too. 22 years later I still attend AA meetings regularly and am very active in service.

Shepgirl, you might want to check out some Al-Anon meetings.

[Daisy and Delilah]

My hat goes off to all of you recovering alcoholics. This is such a major accomplishment. I hope you're all very proud of yourselves becase I'm sure proud of all of you.

[shepgirl]

Red-Hedd...I don't have to check them out. My best buddy works there and holds the meetings which I helped set up. I've talked loads of people into joining for their own good . I still do, always will while I can. Just because I don't drink doesn't mean I don't help out.