A Letter from an Alcoholic

[Catty1]

Marigold, I am an alcoholic. I understand what you are saying, and yes, it IS the person who has to take the first step in getting help.

Both the American and Canadian Medical Associations now classify alcoholism as a disease.

A couple of its chief symptoms - defiance and denial. Courts can order treatment - and hopefully the person will 'see the light' and realize how sick they are. Others stay blind for much longer.

This letter was written by some anonymous person years ago to illustrate that the addict is not all happy and uncaring - far from it.

It's just to give perspective; I looked this up after reading a post in the "Smoking is Bad" thread here. Have a look through, might put this in a better context.

As I like to say to people who need and hopefully WANT to get well: "You alone can do it - but you don't have to do it alone."

[DJFyrewolf36]

As I like to say to people who need and hopefully WANT to get well: "You alone can do it - but you don't have to do it alone."

This is what kept me going (and keeps me going) through my addiction issues. Being an adict doesn't mean you don't realise it, or you're oblivious as to how it affects others...quite the oposite.
Sometimes the first step to recovery is knowing that you aren't alone.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Candace, I have a question. At the end, it says, "I hate myself, but I love you". I've always heard that a person has to love themselves in order to love someone else. If this is true, how can the above statement be valid? Do you believe what I've always heard to be true or the other way?

I have alcoholics in my life now and I've had others in the past. I really wonder if any of them love/d themselves or love/d me. I've never heard it said that way before. Just curious.

[Medusa]

"You alone can do it - but you don't have to do it alone."

I love this line. It can apply to anything in life, not just addiction. Who said this, Candace, or is it one of your pearls? It's so true.

[Catty1]

Mary, I just that somewhere in the past halls of the 12-Step programs. I'm sure it didn't originate there!

D&D - My understanding - only mine - of the "I hate myself, but love you" statement is something like "I hate what I am doing, I hate how I am screwing everything up...I am still the same person inside that loved you, and still loves you."

BTW - I long ago changed my mind on the "You can't love anyone til you love yourself" - I beat myself up over that one.

I heard someone disagree with that one day, and I asked them to explain it more. His belief: "OK, the book says the Great Reality [God] is deep down within each of us, right? " "Right." "And God is love. So we already have all the love we need deep down within us."

Most active addicts have zero self-esteem. There is one young man here in town that we are all waiting to drop dead. He will. He lost family and everything, and now that he knows he can't get that back, he has become resigned, and keeps on drinking. He looks horrible.
He is corked when he comes to meetings.

I hope he turns around...but right now, "He alone can do it..."

[moosmom]

Boy did this come at an awkward time. Yesterday would've been my Dad's 81st birthday. He was an alcoholic and I was his enabler. Why? I bought him his booze to avoid him getting into his truck and driving to the liquor store possibly killing himself or someone else. Years of guilt followed me. I haven't cried all weekend (my mom's anniversary was Friday) and this thread has brought on the water works. Crying is supposed to be very cleansing, so I guess I needed it.

I am also a recovering alcoholic. And the letter is correct, arguing and fighting over it does nothing. It takes hitting rock bottom before an alcoholic will admit his problem and get help. Unfortunately, my father hit rock bottom years ago and it was HIS choice to stay there till he "cruised on outta here".

[shepgirl]

Have alcoholics in the family and some friends also. Our AA meetings are open to everyone...but they do warn us not to make the alcoholic's problem ours. Seems they have to hit rock bottom before they face that fact and do something about it. However, there is someone in our town who has hit rock bottom ages ago and keeps on drinking, I think only death will stop him, a real shame.

Catty1 - the media is now trying to classify drug addiction as a medical disease....We learned that drinking and doing drugs is a choice someone makes. My cousin is a prime example...he drinks one beer, one drink, and he knows he won't stop there, he will drink himself into a stupor. His choice was to abstain from ever touching a drink, and he's doing marvellous.

[Catty1]

shepgirl - if you want to argue with the Canadian and American medical and Psychiatric Associations on addiction as a disease, feel free.

Go back to the Big Book and read "The Doctor's Opinion".

And at the next meeting, maybe ask "How do you know it's a disease?" Then take the cotton out of your ears, put it in your mouth, and LISTEN.