Can Anyone Help Me? Im so sad

[Medusa]

I know that we don't like to medicate our cats unless we absolutely have to but it may be time to look into some kitty Prozac. I hear it works remarkably well and fast, too. This would help your kitty to calm down while around other cats and it might help w/any other issues as well. If she isn't grooming herself, there could be something else going on. I'd have her checked out at the vet's, if I were you. Also, if she's up there all day, then it's important that she have some stimulation. I know that you say you stay downstairs all day until bed time but she needs interaction. Play w/her several times a day. There's a toy called a Cat Dancer that cats just love and it would give her some exercise, too. And what kitty doesn't like catnip toys? It'll make her romp around a bit. Good luck w/this and please keep us posted. Five months under the bed is too long.

[xxangelxx]

thanks for all the stories and advice, I do have a TV in the bedroom that i keep on for her all day (tuned to animal planet of course). She doesnt stay under the bed the entire time, She lays next to it sometimes and on the bed as well.These 2 cats have never even the had the opportunity to smell each other as most cats do, The older cat wont let the other one get close enough. I can tell the other cat wants to be friendly with the older one. His disposition is tremendous.Is it possible my first cat might die from this. Someone told me some cats just give up. oh how i hope this isnt the case. Yes my mom suggested meds for my cat too. My husband thinks i should bar the one upstairs from going upstairs. (block it off) that way she would have to get used to it. But i just said she would just hide all the time. The other cat shows no aggression whatsoever, so im not sure why she is so skiddish this way. im so puzzled as all of my other friends have brought strays into their homes with numerous cats and all got along just fine. Thanks again for everything and will keep you all posted. ..Angel

[Emeraldgreen]

I just finished watching a really interesting show this afternoon about cats on Animal Planet. They showed how an experiment was done with a bunch of cats. They didn't know each other and were put into a room together. They were all very stressed and some were being aggressive and others were just trying to find a place to hide. They repeated the experiment except the next time they played soothing music prior to the meeting and during the meeting. They were amazed by the results and showed that the cats were not aggressive this time around and some were even engaging in grooming each other.
Maybe you could begin to put the two cats in a neutral room. Not the upstairs bedroom and not the place the new cat hangs out downstairs but a different room that isn't special to either one of them. You could try the music thing. At some point, they should meet and it might take a few visitations before they accept each other. Worth a try.
I also think Mary had a very good point about getting your cat to the vet as there may be something else going on if she is no longer grooming herself. And, as she also mentioned, there are some meds out there like Clomicalm that might be able to help your Maine Coon get along with the new cat.
And, as mentioned by others, visiting with your Maine Coon and reminding her that she is important and loved will hopefully help her to feel less 'snubbed'. Maybe you could make a point of spoiling her rotten for a few weeks and see if it helps turn her around. Toys, treats and rubbies with lots of quality time.
Please keep us updated and let us know if the situation improves.

[xxangelxx]

Hi again..its been a while i know...the situation still hasnt changed, its December 1st and gabbie still is upstairs..Its been since June. i just dont get it. My original cat is so afraid of the new one. The new one cries to come in to the bedroom and the original one just hisses and growls and chases him out. Then when we are all downstairs.. the one upstairs sits at the top of the steps and meows her head off. Then i go up and comfort her. Ive tried everything. I guess we just have an upstairs and downstairs cat. Its been 6 months and i dont think it will ever change. I just feel so bad. I dont want to give any of them up. One time the new cat came up and got on the bed. the old one didnt know he was on the bed and she jumped on the bed and i had to hold her. they layed at each end. But the old one growled the whole time. And she wasnt even looking at him...its just what she does the whole time hes upstairs. Well that is my update...so sorry no good news. Its just so heartbreaking for both. We love them both ...

[catwhispers]

If someone else mentioned this, my apologies, but there is an over-the-counter liquid that you can put in the cat's water. It's natural and it has calming capabilities and might help. You can find it at a pet supply store like Petsmart. I don't remember the name of it, but people working there should be able to help. I foster cats and the rescue group gave me a bottle to use when I had a very terrified feral for a while. It's not like drugs you'd get at a vet, but it helps a little. Sort of the equivalent of camomile tea for us non-cats.

This link gives some advice on how to bring a new cat into a household. Even though it's been some time, you might find some ideas there.

http://www.wikihow.com/Bring-a-Secon...-Old-Cat-Upset

One thing you might try which is somewhat addressed in the article is to contain the new cat in a room downstairs with its own litterbox, food, etc, just making sure you spend quality time with it a few times a day, but not letting it out in the house at all right now. Keep your bedroom door open and hopefully eventually your cat will see it again has domain of the house and will start to go outside the bedroom and feel safer. If you think about it, her whole space was invaded and she lost her home, in some respect, because she no longer feels it is safe. So give it back to her again, that might at least bring her out a bit.

If the other cat is upset by this, stay strong. It will all work out.

Once your older cat begins to feel safer about exploring the home again, you can start using the techniques described to see if you can get them used to each other.

One thing that wasn't addressed in the article... once they are beginning to get used to each other you can get two crates or large cat boxes, keep them in each on a bit apart but facing each other and let them get used to being in the same room but still feeling safe.

Hope some of this might help.