Don't put him in his crate after you tell him no, he is going to think of his crate as a bad thing and not want to go in there anymore.
Sounds like your wife needs to start some NILIF training, you need to just ignore the dog right now and let her concentrate on the dog.
Tell her to remember that even though you guys have no chlidren the dog is not her child and shouldn't be treated like one. The dog doesn't think in terms that "I'm going to be mad at you and hurt your feelings", he is trying to be higher in the pack then your wife and she needs to fix that.
When he growls tell her to push him off her lap and ignore him for awhile.
He is used to being cuddled so he will come back to her for cuddles eventually (this is why you should ignore him so that he will go to your wife). Tell her not to give in right away, make him sit then pet him.
Make him work for EVERYTHING, you want food you sit, you want pet you sit, you want to go for a walk you sit..etc.
It won't work right away but within a couple days you should see a difference.
Look up NILIF (nothing in life is free) and start following it.
Oh another thing, make sure he watches you guys (especially your wife) eat BEFORE him