Finally got my pc back; I was w/out it for nearly 3 days and now I'm really behind on my work, so I'll try to make this as succinct as possible. It's still giving me problems, so I may have to be w/out it again.
As soon as Dr. Lee saw Puddy yesterday he said "Oh boy, this isn't the Puddy I know". She was just lying there in a ball; she usually is hissing like mad. When he petted her, she didn't make a sound. So he petted her a little harder to see if he could get her to respond and she did hiss but she never even lifted her head. Dr. Lee, whom I've always said is a genius but, by his own admission, is not warm and fuzzy, stroked her so tenderly. I could tell that he really likes her; his eyes curl up at the corners and he grins when he sees her. He leaned down and talked to her at her level, which ordinarily would be a dangerous thing to do because she goes for the face when she's really mad, and he said "Puddy, what's going on w/you, little girl?" And she let out the most pathetic cry. That's when I lost it and started crying, too. Poor Dr. Lee, I could tell that he wanted to comfort me but he didn't know what to do. He asked "How long has she been lying in a ball like this?" I said "Almost two weeks. She stays on the corner of the bathroom sink countertop 24/7". I filled him in on everything, how she eats fine, uses the litterbox fine but just will not socialize at all, not even w/me.
He said that it could be one of a couple of things: senility could be setting in and/or she could be having an auto immune response to the Epogen. He said that he's never heard of cats responding to Epogen in that way, dogs yes, cats no, but then he said "Puddy has defied all the odds so far, so why should this be any different?" He said that cutting her back to once a week would neither help nor hurt her and her numbers all came back the same so he said to continue w/once a week injections and to really watch and see how she responds after next Saturday's shot.
Of course, when we got home yesterday, she went upstairs so I figured she was headed for the countertop but she ate first, then went to the countertop to drink her water, then she went in her carrier for the first time in two weeks and she slept there all night. So. Now I don't know if it's because she's doing better or if it's because the weather turned cold and rainy (it went down to 50 yesterday) and it's warmer in her carrier. Dr. Lee said that Epogen only stays in the system for about 4 days, so if she's having an auto immune response to it, the 4 days would have been past and thus she went into her carrier. (Are you tracking w/me on all this? I know it's difficult; I have a problem w/it myself.) If she goes back to the countertop and stays there again after her shot on Saturday, then I'll probably have my answer. I'm trying to take a friend's advice to stop analyzing everything and just take this as a positive sign because I'm exhausting myself.
Dr. Lee also said "I'm a numbers guy. Her numbers say she's improving but this is not the normal Puddy behavior. I'm not w/her all day, so only you can say whether or not her quality of life is non-existent. If you're asking me, though, if this is the end for Puddy, I'd have to say 'NO'. Her gums are pink and if a cat is anemic, the gums are white. Her appetite is good, her litterbox habits are fine. I think she needs to be observed a little longer." I asked him the question I always ask "If she was your cat, what would you do?" He said "Again, I'm a numbers guy. I'd wait. But if her numbers go down after a while, then I'd have to sit myself down and say 'Mike, you have a decision to make'."
I hope I haven't forgotten anything. Yesterday I cried until I was spent. I came home, laid down and cried til I fell asleep and I did sleep for about an hour and a half. I guess I needed the cry and I definitely needed the sleep because I felt better afterwards and Puddy slept through the night, too. This has been one strange experience. I've had to help animals to the Bridge but there was never any doubt then that I was doing the right thing. Just when I think it may be time to let Puddy go, she rallies, so I've been in a state of confusion for weeks. Dr. Lee told me to keep him informed of any changes, good or bad, and I'll let all my PT friends know, too, unless I have to part w/my computer again. If you don't see an update or if I don't reply to your posts, that's why.
Thanx again for all your thoughts and prayers and I apologize for the long post. I just wanted to make sure I covered everything.
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