Dear Matthew,

I'm not sure where things stand right now.. I'm probably more lost than anyone right now.

But because I don't have the nerve to talk to you right now, I'll just type my "talk" with you.

The last month or two has been so weird between the two of us. You say I've become a lot meaner, but I've noticed it's only to you. I don't know why this is... because I love you so much. You're so important to me, and I only want to see you happy.

The other day, you got mad because I wanted to come home. I wanted a night away from you, away from everyone. I just wanted ME time. Then, that night, you got even MORE mad when I said I was staying the night at my house, and not with you. You had so much of a cow, you cussed me out, and said it was over. I asked you not to act crazy, but really, it opened my eyes.

I don't need to be with someone forever who treats me like that. You yell, and curse, and treat me like crap when you don't get your way. You make me feel guilty for wanting things for myself. You exhaust me, mentally, physically, and emotionally, when I can't take care of myself, because I'm too busy taking care of YOU.

You're 23 years old, and you lack so much motivation. Have some aspirations, have some desire, have some gumption. DO SOMETHING. Get off your butt, and do something. Treat yourself right, and that'll lead to treating other people right.

But, it hasn't always been like this. I swear, I haven't always felt like this. We use to be good to eachother, and for eachother. We use to be an INCREDIBLE duo. Something happen, something changed. I talked to Samantha about it all, and she said that maybe it's just because we were meant to be for a year, but not forever. And I agree.

I was SO lost when I first met you. Greg destroyed me in unimaginable ways. He took so much away from me, but you helped me find myself again. You gave me reason. And you, you were in a mess. You were cleaning your act up, you were off drugs, and you were turning your life around. I was your reason, as well.

Now, we're stronger people. We've been together, we've loved, we've laughed, we've cried... together. We've been one, we've helped eachother. But maybe it's time for us to move on. Really, I'll ALWAYS love you. I'll always have a special place in my heart for you. I'd never forget you. And I want to remain in contact with you, forever and always.

But for now, you've got to make the first move. Talk to me, call, text, whatever. I can't be the first move again.

I love you, Matthew.

Sara