Can Anyone Help Me? Im so sad

[moosmom]

You've got some great advice here. Follow it and I can assure you all will be well. Thank you for taking in that poor kitty and welcome to Pet Talk!!

[xxangelxx]

hi its me again..the one with the maine coon and himalayan, Anyway its been about 5 months now and my old cat IS STILL UPSTAIRS IN THE BEDROOM!! she hasnt come down once in that time. Please help, ive tried everything, from starting over to feliway to home remedies. She is getting so skinny. And the other cat want to be with us, but she wont dare let him in the room. I took the new cat upstairs and just plopped him on the bed, She didnt know he was there and she jumped up on the bed and had a fit when she seen him, Screaming (awful sound) and growling. He just looks at her and slowly walks away and meows like hes sad that she wont accept him. I hate having an upstairs and a downstairs cat. And we are downstairs till we go up to sleep then she wants attention and im ready to sleep. Will it always be this way? Please anything will help. And yes weve tried bringing her down, and she practically mauls us when we try. Shes not bathing and seems depressed. I am at my wits end here. I feel like if they dont get along to get rid of them both. And we have become attached to the new one. Usually its the new one that hides and makes it bad. When ever we say the new cats name to her she growls, she even knows his name. Comical somewhat..lol...please any other suggestions, I have seriously tried them all. Thanks for any help....Angel

[Emeraldgreen]

Sometimes certain cats just won't get along. I have some of those and while they get along with some, they detest the others so they have to be in different groups. It may be that way for your cats. I'm guessing that your Maine Coon is lonely and feeling a bit replaced. I don't know if this is feasable for you but maybe you could adopt a kitten for a companion to your Maine Coon. I only suggest a kitten because they are generally accepted by cats (but of course, not always). Or maybe there is a cat in a shelter that you feel would be a perfect match for your Maine Coon. This way, the Himalayen can keep the downstairs, the Maine Coon can have the upstairs and have someone to keep her company.
The other thing you could do is set up the room that your Maine Coon is in to be a bit more like the downstairs. If she used to hang out in the livingroom or family room where there is a tv (before the Himalayen arrived), you could put a tv in the room she is in now. I have two rooms that the cats sleep in each night and spend part of the day in and I have a tv in there. I think the background sound of tv is something they are very familiar with and it's nice for them to have that when they can't be with their people. If your bedroom is very quiet and no one is in it until bedtime, your Maine Coon is probably very bored and feeling very alone.

The only other thing I would suggest is to find a way to get your cats to play together. There are all kinds of things out there like collapsable tunnels and ropes with things that they might get so interested in that they forget that they hate each other.

[Medusa]

I know that we don't like to medicate our cats unless we absolutely have to but it may be time to look into some kitty Prozac. I hear it works remarkably well and fast, too. This would help your kitty to calm down while around other cats and it might help w/any other issues as well. If she isn't grooming herself, there could be something else going on. I'd have her checked out at the vet's, if I were you. Also, if she's up there all day, then it's important that she have some stimulation. I know that you say you stay downstairs all day until bed time but she needs interaction. Play w/her several times a day. There's a toy called a Cat Dancer that cats just love and it would give her some exercise, too. And what kitty doesn't like catnip toys? It'll make her romp around a bit. Good luck w/this and please keep us posted. Five months under the bed is too long.

[xxangelxx]

thanks for all the stories and advice, I do have a TV in the bedroom that i keep on for her all day (tuned to animal planet of course). She doesnt stay under the bed the entire time, She lays next to it sometimes and on the bed as well.These 2 cats have never even the had the opportunity to smell each other as most cats do, The older cat wont let the other one get close enough. I can tell the other cat wants to be friendly with the older one. His disposition is tremendous.Is it possible my first cat might die from this. Someone told me some cats just give up. oh how i hope this isnt the case. Yes my mom suggested meds for my cat too. My husband thinks i should bar the one upstairs from going upstairs. (block it off) that way she would have to get used to it. But i just said she would just hide all the time. The other cat shows no aggression whatsoever, so im not sure why she is so skiddish this way. im so puzzled as all of my other friends have brought strays into their homes with numerous cats and all got along just fine. Thanks again for everything and will keep you all posted. ..Angel

[Emeraldgreen]

I just finished watching a really interesting show this afternoon about cats on Animal Planet. They showed how an experiment was done with a bunch of cats. They didn't know each other and were put into a room together. They were all very stressed and some were being aggressive and others were just trying to find a place to hide. They repeated the experiment except the next time they played soothing music prior to the meeting and during the meeting. They were amazed by the results and showed that the cats were not aggressive this time around and some were even engaging in grooming each other.
Maybe you could begin to put the two cats in a neutral room. Not the upstairs bedroom and not the place the new cat hangs out downstairs but a different room that isn't special to either one of them. You could try the music thing. At some point, they should meet and it might take a few visitations before they accept each other. Worth a try.
I also think Mary had a very good point about getting your cat to the vet as there may be something else going on if she is no longer grooming herself. And, as she also mentioned, there are some meds out there like Clomicalm that might be able to help your Maine Coon get along with the new cat.
And, as mentioned by others, visiting with your Maine Coon and reminding her that she is important and loved will hopefully help her to feel less 'snubbed'. Maybe you could make a point of spoiling her rotten for a few weeks and see if it helps turn her around. Toys, treats and rubbies with lots of quality time.
Please keep us updated and let us know if the situation improves.

[xxangelxx]

Hi again..its been a while i know...the situation still hasnt changed, its December 1st and gabbie still is upstairs..Its been since June. i just dont get it. My original cat is so afraid of the new one. The new one cries to come in to the bedroom and the original one just hisses and growls and chases him out. Then when we are all downstairs.. the one upstairs sits at the top of the steps and meows her head off. Then i go up and comfort her. Ive tried everything. I guess we just have an upstairs and downstairs cat. Its been 6 months and i dont think it will ever change. I just feel so bad. I dont want to give any of them up. One time the new cat came up and got on the bed. the old one didnt know he was on the bed and she jumped on the bed and i had to hold her. they layed at each end. But the old one growled the whole time. And she wasnt even looking at him...its just what she does the whole time hes upstairs. Well that is my update...so sorry no good news. Its just so heartbreaking for both. We love them both ...