i am so sorry you are having this problem and that your girl is so upset. i would not give up. the 2 cats i have at the moment took over a year to accept each other. i dont know if you have heard of the bach flower remedies but my cats respond well to them. they can be bought in any health food shop or organic supermarket and even some vets stock them now too. there are ones for jealousy, fear, tolerance of other cats, and for your girl maybe look at resentment too. if you keep reassuring her of your love and of her place in her home im sure things will work out ok. you also need to try and not get too stressed over the situation. some rescue remedy for both of you might be a good idea. all the best. keep us informed of things. much love, eva